God why?

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Okay, I am going to state this now.   I am not Christian I don't even know how I came up with this, so don't judge me, please.

Please forgive me I am no saint to be fawned upon.  I am merely just a child that wants to be held in your loving arms.         

For my life has been filled with ups and downs.   I have lost so much yet gained so little in return.   Life on earth is not forgiving, it is filled with so much hate and jealousy.   No one knows how to love "thy neighbour", some don't even know how to love themselves.    

Not many are caring and as understanding as you.   How do you love all people on earth, yet some ignore your existence.

I try to follow the rules you set and stand by you.  I am always running to be with you, but it's so hard.

 I fall, then I get back up again, just to be knocked down or to fall down again.  Why have you made it so hard for me to be with you?

I know most say that your son stands beside us through all of our lives, but is he actually there, helping us along our selfish and harmful lives?   I have read the bible and I have prayed to you and to your son.   

But nothing happens.  I can ask for something, like to finally be liked or loved by someone or to at least not be hated by the world.   

God, why have you made it so hard for me to believe in you and to love you and your son.     I know I am one of your many children, but why must you punish me for others mistakes.   Why is it so hard for you to answer me.   Am I overlooking or maybe under looking something?   Or is it you just don't love me?



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