How to get away with Redrum

Zombie Apocalpyse Guide

Okay so those of you who are reading the title, you must think I'm foolish.

I mean who really thinks a zombie apocalypse is going to happen?

Personally, I believe that anything is possible....

Okay, the main reason this is being written is because I kind of want a zombie apocalypse to happen.

Yes, I just mentioned that I want a zombie apocalypse to happen.

I promise it isn't just because I am addicted to The Walking Dead.....

Actually, that is one of the reasons....

I want to be a crossbow wielding ninja.

Yes.
That sounds about right.

The only thing I would be worried about is being eaten by a horde of zombies because of my clumsiness.

Anyway the best way to survive is basically to avoid people.
((I am really good at avoiding people))

Or you could have a massive group and let them be eaten by zombies while you escape.

I mean...... You can save your group but honestly I don't know if I would.

I'm such a great person.
I mean I will let the group die for me.

The only time I would sacrifice myself if it was someone really special... ((My family or my one friend...))

I know if my cat died in the apocalypse I would snap.
I would kill anyone, or anything.

Okay, I should work on my people skills....

Actually, it's okay to have like no friends.

Actually I don't know.

So basically if an apocalypse happens, I suggest staying away from people...

Another tip is not to go to very popular places like a mall, Walmart, schools or Mcdonalds.

I would suggest a nice quiet book store...
Doesn't matter what type.
As long as it isn't in a mall.
Or a busy section of the place you live.

Please note, most of us have no clue how to use weapons so it is a bad idea to only go out with a fork.

Why would someone use a fork to kill a zombie?

Spoons are worse though, like just throw it at the zombies eye.

Oh that sounds like a great way to get yourself brutally ripped apart by zombies.

Does anyone else think of stuff like this?

I'm guessing it's just me.

I really would like to be a crossbow wielding ninja, but when I think of the possibility I would die.

I would die the first hour.
I mean.... I can survive but without music and things I would go insane.

I could be a slayer though and survive.

Just imagine though dying on your birthday in an apocalypse.

That's such a pleasant birthday gift.

Seriously, imagine being ripped apart when all you want is your birthday cake.

I think I would cry honestly.

I wouldn't scream.

I would cry.

Like I want my cake,

Zombies stop it!

Let have my birthday cake, then you can eat me.

Okay, zombies are epic.

Y'all are epic also.

Okay.
If an apocalypse happens, may the odds be ever in your favour guys.
((Just a warning to be careful of anything... Even yourself))

Humans are the real monsters in the end.