We always have the chance to live our life happily... but I chose not to.
I ruined my life.
I became a rebel. What does a rebel do? A rebel drinks alcohol all day and night to forget all his or her problems, uses drugs as if he or she was just eating candies, cuts classes for almost everyday, and a rebel causes trouble always. The thing is, I did all of those but instead of forgetting what I want to forget, I ended up losing all I have and ended up having a problem that I didn't expect to come.
I had four reasons why I chose being a rebel.
First, I was a loner. I only had 2 friends, my bestfriend and my girlfriend. Aside from them, I never talked to anyone else. Socialization was not a part of my vocabulary...and I'm scared of changes.
"Why are you so closed? Why don't you let other people enter your life? I know you're great, but I think it's better if you'll know other people besides us." Iris, my girlfriend, said when I ignored my classmate who wanted to be my friend.
"Iris is right, bro. I think it's also rude to ignore a person who wants to be your friend. It's a rare thing that someone approaches you and asks you to be his friend because obviously, everyone thinks that you are not approachable." Terrence, my bestfriend, agreed with Iris. What were they trying to tell me?
I gave them a serious face and said, "Do you know why I don't want other people in my life? Both of you are enough. You know it's hard for me to trust people. If someone comes, for sure something changes and I don't want any change because changes ruin everything. It makes everything temporary and I know that you are the only ones that are permanent. You are the ones who won't leave me and the ones who won't betray me, right?"
They remained quiet after that speech.
Second, I was adopted. I had a happy family back then: a caring mother, a loving father and a kind sister. My foster parents told me that I'm not their biological child then after that, they sent me away because my 'sister' was bumped by a car after saving me from that accident. How I wish I was the one bumped by that car.
"You know what? We regretted that we adopted you! If it's not because of Lyka..." Lyka is my sister. "... we are not going to adopt you! She was the one who requested us to adopt you just because she wants a brother! But now that she's gone, I can't think of any reason for you to stay here. Now, go! We can't take to see the reason of our daughter's death."
Third, I lived alone on my own. I found my biological parents and I knew that I am an only child. You know what's funny with this family? My father cheated on my mother as well as my mom to my dad. As a result, they had their own family and left me without uttering a word, that made me feel worse.
I heard my phone rang so I answered it, "Hello?"
"Xander..." my mom, "...did your dad give you your allowance and food for this week?"
"Yes, mom."
"Good. I'm sorry I can't make it to your house this weekend. I have a meeting to attend to and it's really important."
My dad told me that he'll be out of the country this weekend too.
"Yeah, sure mom. It's not like it's something new."
Fourth, my girlfriend and my bestfriend cheated on me. After knowing the sudden changes in my life, I expected that I can find someone I can talk to. I felt relieved knowing that I have a bestfriend and a girlfriend not until I discovered that they were cheating behind my back. It hurt me...a lot.
I was about to open our classroom's door when I heard voices inside the room.
"Iris..." It was Terrence. "Do you really love me too?"
"Yes. I told you this for a couple of times already!"
"What about Xander? He trusts us. Don't you love him anymore?"
I heard her sigh, "I did love him, but you are the one I love now. I know he trusts us, but would you choose him over me?"
"Of course not. I won't ever give you up."
I had the money, the power and the fame. The thing was, I didn't feel love from anybody.
I didn't know what I did wrong to suffer those that time. I kept all my feelings by myself. Time passed, those feelings formed anger, and that anger made me a rebel. I did everything to forget the pain but the pain hurts more while time is passing by. I want to forget everything, but I wasn't able to get what I want, instead, I got a news that served as my wake up call.
I had VSD.
Ventricular Septal Defect, also known as VSD, is a defect that describes one or more holes in the wall that separates the right and left ventricles of the heart. VSD is present since my birth. It doesn't have any symptoms. The only thing I felt when I was a child is that it's hard for me to breathe especially right after I did something tiresome, all my life, I thought it's just a simple asthma. Having surgery is dangerous for me as said by my doctor, so he also said that waiting for it to close on its own can also be a way but there is only a small possibility that I'll be cured in that way. Still, I chose the second way.
I was given the chance to live happily. I never thought that maybe those four reasons were just tests. Tests to know where my faith will lead me. I forgot that I will always have someone to talk to whenever I feel alone. The Creator up there will always be there for me when the time comes that I am carrying the problems of the world. I ignored the chance He gave me and I suffered from that sickness to the point that I almost lost my breath. But because He is great, He never let me go.
Now, here I am, living with the second life He gave me, the second chance He trusted me with.
"Ouch!" Where did that ball come from?
"I'm sorry! Does it hurt? I'm so sorry! It's not my intention to hit you with that ball. I was practicing for my volleyball class. I'm sorry."
I'm here to correct all the mistakes I've done, forget my past and live happily.
"Hey, are you okay? You're not saying anything." She looked worried.
"I guess, I'm okay."
"It seems you're new in here. So, let's forget about a while ago?" She flashed a smile and offered her hand. "I'm Chance, you are?"
But more than anything else, I'm not here to waste this chance, again.
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Unedited. Project namin sa English 'to nung third year. Sorry kung may wrong grammar man.
