Just Breathe (Book 1)

Chapter 3

I hurt Jacob, well in a sense I did. He didn't want me dead.
I couldn't understand why though. I jumped into bed after I wished Jacob his goodnight and sent him home. I am tired and can't think of a better word than death. Ah maybe not so harsh and all say "sleep forever."

This time... I don't think I'll play my game.

My thoughts are scattered. I think I'll just dream. At first I thought those "nightmares" people have were supposed to be occasional... Normal. I was wrong. Jacob told me before he left if he needed to stay so I don't wake up in the middle of the night from a fearful dream he will, but I didn't know that fearful meant it was considered a nightmare. Looking it up on my sisters phone I relized it wasn't right that I had so many nightmares.

I needed help. Fast. I need to do it myself so nobody finds out that I'm confessing to be abnormal. My heart skipped a beat thinking about what would be next. Not next as in my normal suicidal thoughts, but next as in my next step to success. I'm done being antisocial. Tomorrow im not going to school and neither is Jacob.
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I woke up with a new feeling. I wasn't faking happiness. It was real and lively. I called up Jacob when he normally woke up. His sleepy voice was probably the most attractive thing ever.

"Hey I will be over in 20. Be ready!" My happy voice must have scared him.

"Who is this? Um... I swear you're not my best friend. You sound way too happy." I laughed as I felt Jacob smile over the phone.

"What about you mister. You're smiling over there I can sense it!"
We both laughed until I convinced him that he was not going to school today.

I hopped into my car and adjusted my mirrors and buckled up. Before I turned on the car I thought about what would happen if I just drove and never stopped. I shook my head I'm just thinking of ridiculous things now. I take off my jacket I usually wear everyday and I threw it in the backseat, then begin to drive.

when I got to Jacobs house I jumped out of the car and ran to give him a big hug.

"What are we even doing?" Jacob looked at me waiting for a real responce. I smiled.

"You'll see."