Washed Up ≫ A.I

Chapter [40]

[Charlotte Kendall]

I couldn't stop staring at this man in front of me. His tangled bangs were across his sleeping eyes and matted down with little sections of sweat.  He sometimes stretched awkwardly underneath my head that was still rested on his naked chest. I guess laying down in this bed of grass made everything a little more uncomfortable for the both of us but I was with Ashton. . . therefore I wasn't ever going to complain. His rising chest moved with the sweet sounds of his soft snores again as I lifted my hand to wipe the hair from his over his eyelids. I moved my back arm over his stomach and grabbed the band of his briefs just for comfort. I didn't mean to wake him after that.

Ashton shifted under me and pulled his arms over his head to stretch. I sat up, covering my arm across my breast bashfully before staring down at him in silence. When he came to and opened his stunning hazel eyes up at me my heart leaped, "Hey beautiful." He smiled.

I had no words to explain why I was feeling like I was in middle school again. It was the same feeling as always, butterflies and tight knots tugging inside my stomach. . . the feeling I learned that only Ashton ever gives me. Every time Ashton and I wounded up messing around in the jungle the butterflies were always something in the back of my head yet for once, in this moment, the real words I wanted to say to him never came out of me. After everything we've been through together this entire month,  you would think It would be easy to just come right out and tell him what I've felt for him. Yet, I was a coward towards rejection.

"Hi," I squeaked. If I couldn't tell him that I loved him before the sex, than I doubt I could be able to tell him after we had sex.

I was getting shy just sitting bare in front of Ashton suddenly so I leaned forward again and rested my chin to his stomach before kissing his smooth skin underneath me. I pulled my hands under my chin and rested them there in deep thought. Neither of us could look away from each other which suddenly made everything go fuzzy.

"We-We should probably head back before the sun comes up in a couple of hours." I add.

He moaned a bit, dropping his palm down to help guide my cheek closer to his face. I scooted in and faced him close enough for another kiss. However, when I didn't lean in as fast as he did his eyes got fixated on my own concern, "What's wrong?" I adverted my eyes away from him and sit back up, suddenly shy, "Hey, Char. . . What are you thinking about?" Ashton sat up beside me, scooping his arm behind my lower back as I tried to pull away to cover my body.

I couldn't look him in the eyes again but I already knew what he looked like, anxious with that little twitch in his deep dimples. He tried to pull me closer into his side but I turned quickly to look for my clothes.

I wasn't trying to give him the cold shoulder on purpose, I guess I'm just so scared about what we've been doing that my feelings for Ashton are suddenly brainwashing my entire body. Thirty-two days, It took thirty-two days to fall in love with a stranger. I almost felt heartbroken at this moment because I couldn't tell him that I loved him last night. . . and hearing him not saying anything under those lines either pretty much signified that this was all wrong between us. So I couldn't look him in the eyes this time. It was a better idea to just head back to camp to cool down for a moment here.

"Do you-" I start, tilting my head up slowly, "Do you think what we just did was a big mistake?" The taste in my mouth felt bitter after they just flowed out. I heard Ashton gulp in front of me and I instantly wanted to take back my confession, "Wait I mean. . ." I pull my head up in regret and hold my hands out towards him, "I-It was amazing but this. . . this shouldn't have happened here." I stuttered once seeing Ashton's expression. His face washed away the rosy glow and ashed over in a heartbroken white. Oh my God I felt horrible.