Spilt

This Feeling

This feeling in my stomach means fear
It means sudden movement

This feeling in my stomach?
Means pain
It means uncontrollability

This feeling in my stomach?
Doesn't always mean sadness
It can mean anger or confusion
even frustration

This feeling in my stomach?
Is a familiar feeling
I've met it several times before
but it only comes to visit when my moods are dark

This feeling in my stomach?
Will quickly convert to tears
and uncontrollable sounds
it will turn my face red and make my body dizzy

This feeling in my stomach?
Scares the fuck out of me
It controls too much of my life
It controls too many of my moods

This feeling in my stomach?
Is called anxiety

Not the kind of anxiety that you get right before a job interview

The kind of anxiety that you get when somebody says "your mom just passed away"
Although it's almost always never that serious

It's not the kind of anxiety that shows up in your stomach and sits there like a rock

No

It's the kind of anxiety that shows up in your stomach and consumes your entire body

So

Dear Anxiety,
I know we've known each other for a while now
And by now you're probably comfortable
But, do you mind leaving?
Just take a vacation, c'mon, you deserve it
Working day and night, months on end
Has to be tiring
I mean, I know you're wired like this
And you're trying to wire me like this
But everyone would finally be able to smile
If you would just

                                       Leave.