Spilt

Others nor myself

I'm not really sure what to love somebody means,
how could I when nobody has ever loved me
nor I myself

I mean I've loved before,
but it was the kind of love that
branched from this lonely feeling inside myself

I've loved in the kind of way a child loves candy ,
I've loved in the kind of way a bird loves to sing,

but I've never loved in the kind of way
a flower loves water
or an introvert loves being alone

I've never really cared for anyone,
it seems like
and I know it sounds psychotic,
but even after trying everything I still cannot

love

now whether you want to say I cannot love because I do not love myself or because
I have never felt love--
it's no one but my owns fault

I am the one that pushes everything
with a beating heart away
and I the one that rarely allows
new souls to enter
my hell bound world

and I would say,
who could blame me

but could you blame me?