Buzz or Howl: Short Stories

The Church Of Superman

The streets outside the Manchester Cathedral were almost empty. Once the stragglers from the gig had dispersed there was just the two of them, sat on the way, having a smoke. They didn't say much, partly because their privacy was sporadically interrupted by members of the road crew lugging equipment out of the peculiar venue. The man turned round every time the door opened, hoping for a chance meeting with the band. He was not as nonchalant as he imagined.

After a fashion, they got up to leave.

"Should we try and find a pub?" The woman asked.
"Yeah, can do" The man responded.

For a few feet they said nothing.

"They were great tonight, don't you think?" The woman said.
"Sure," He paused for a couple of steps, "I'm not keen on the new
album though."
"I thought the new stuff sounded really good tonight. It really filled up the cathedral."
"Hmmm."
"Don't you think it's funny though, that grand old cathedral in the middle of all this? I mean there's a bloody poundland almost opposite!"
"Yeah, I s'pose."
"I guess places of worship are pretty alien at the best of times nowadays. I mean, it's like, uh..."
"I reckon two thousand years from now there will be big churches in the mega-cities devoted to pop culture idols. Like 'the Church of Superman.' They'll think that's who we worshipped."
"Uh-Huh."
"And Lo, Kal-El fought off the evil Brainiac and..."
"Why did you have to say Brainiac?" She interuppted.
"What?"
"Brainiac. He's so obscure. Who you trying to impress? It's just me here."
"He's not..."
"Just say the main one. The bald guy. Les Luthor..."
"It's Lex."
"Whatever. The one in all the films."
"He's not in ALL the films..."
"Most of them he is. He's Superman's baddie. He's the main one."

He was walking ever so slightly behind of her by this point.

"I think you could make an argument for Brainiac being just as important."
"I don't. I don't know anything about him. Only that stupid signed magazine..."
"COMIC book!"

She sighed before continuing.

"...Comic book that's in the hallway by the loo."
"That's Action Comics issue 868. It's signed by Geoff Johns AND Gary Frank and if you took the time to..."
"I don't care James. I just don't. They're just picture stories for kids. You don't have to analyse them so much. They're not important!"

He had stopped walking and just looked at her with his mouth closed.

"I can tell you the story in every one of your four hundred thousand comic books," She continued, "Average Joe is gets or is born with some ridiculously implausible ability. Similarly, troubled chap has similar experience, but uses his powers for evil. They fight, the nice one wins, on to the next story. It's stupid."

He rubbed his tongue around the inside of his mouth before quietly replying: "It's just the same as the Odyssey and that."

"Oh for fucks sake! It is not the same thing, James! Not at all. You've got to stop leaning on that argument because it's not fucking true!"

She had stopped walking by then as well. They just stood where they were for a minute. A pigeon was fiddling with a half eaten and water heavy bag of Wotsits about half a metre to their left, but neither of them noticed. He was half turning away from her.

"There's no need to swear, Bex. I'm sorry I irritate you so much."

She exhaled and took a step towards him.

"You don't irritate me. It's just always about comics nowadays. You used to be..."
"I used to be what?"
"Nothing. Nothing. It doesn't matter."
"No. What? I used to be what?"
"Seriously, James, it's nothing. Just leave it. Let's just find a pub, yeah?"

She was smiling at him and put her hand out for his.

"Ok," He said, taking it.

They walked on for a little while, looking around at the unfamiliar scenery.

"Remember when you used to cover their song in your band?" She smiled.
"Oh yeah! Blame, etc. That was a great tune to play. I used to love that one."
"You guys were really good."
"We were ok. It was fun while it lasted."
"You wouldn't do it again then?"
"Nah. I don't think so. I'm getting a bit old for that stuff now really."

They walked along, passing three phone shops and a kebab place. She let go of his hand.

"Actually, I'm kind of tired. Shall we just get back to the hotel room?"

He smiled at her.

"Oh yeah? Dulli's voice always did have an affect on you. It'll be nice in a different room, right?"

His hand moved onto her hips, but she moved them off instantly.

"I'm seriously just tired, James. Is that ok?"
"Sure, sure. I've got that new Silver Surfer I picked up to read anyway."
"Yeah," she responded, "Great."

As they walked back the way they had come, she thought about musicians. They were just so passionate, and it was infectious. Like a spell cast on you that you couldn't resist. The Whigs set in the cathedral had really brought that power out, lighting it up and letting her discover it anew.

He thought about Dan Slott. His Silver Surfer run had been fantastic up to that point, but the latest issue had Galactus in it. It was make or break time. He reckoned that Dan would nail it though.

The cathedral was empty when they passed it.