The Badger and the Snake, or Rather, the Lion and the Llama (Phan/ Hogwarts)

Chapter 3

"Mr. Howell, do you care to join us again in the real world, or are you content in your little dream world?" Dan jolted awake.

Severus Snape was glaring at him from the front of the room, and the other students were all snickering. Great, he'd fallen asleep again, but it wasn't his fault that all the teachers decided to give an arse-load of homework the night before. That coupled with Quidditch practice and astrology class at ungodly hours of the night, it was all too much! It barely allowed any time for sleep, let alone a social life (not that Dan even really has one of those). Why Dan thought it was a good idea to willingly take so many classes, he'll never know. What he does know is that he was struggling, a lot.

"He's probably dreaming of that blue-eyed softie again," muttered Vincent Crabbe, who was sitting next to him. Since there was only two students allowed to a table, Malfoy and his brutish cronies had been split up and Dan, being as unlucky as he is, had gotten stuck with the odd man out of their group.

Instead of retaliating with a snark comment that Crabbe probably didn't the necessary brain cells required to understand, Dan just sighed and apologized to Snape for zoning out.

"Well, Mr. Howell, just to make sure you understood the concept, I'd like you to write thirteen inches on the topic that was taught today." Snape said, looking at Dan with an "I win" type of look in his eyes.

"Yes, Professor," Dan replied angrily. It was completely unfair! Crabbe and Goyle fell asleep in class almost everyday, and yet they didn't have to write thirteen inches about, about... Dammit, Dan didn't even know what he was to write about!

"In fact, why don't you all?" Snape pondered, Dan could feel the eyes of his fellow students boring holes into his head. "Yes, thirteen inches from all of you, due tomorrow," Snape decided. The whole class groaned as they were dismissed.

Dan quickly stuffed his things haphazardly into his bag. He stormed out of the classroom before the others did, trying to avoid all of his angry classmates (finally he had a reason to be thankful for his long albeit clumsy legs). He kept his head down and walked as quickly as he could, attempting to avoid all eye contact. Since he was basically a giant compared to the other students at Hogwarts, it was difficult to get through the crowd without running into a few people. He half-heartedly apologized to every other person he accidentally pushed or tripped over, not really caring too much.

He made it to the Charms classroom in record time, arriving five minutes early as opposed to late. He sat down at his desk, pulling the books he needed from his bag as he waited. With a deep, overly-dramatic sigh, Dan ran his hands over his face and through his hair, messing up the carefully parted fringe and giving himself a quiff. He would've laughed at his reflection in the gilded candlestick next to him if he weren't so upset. He was busy staring dejectedly at himself to notice the fabulous wizard who'd sat down next to him.

"Uh, you told me you wanted to do something new with your hair, but that's not the way to go, bitch," laughed Tyler. The short wizard fixed his own perfect lilac hair as he sat down, and attempted to fix Dan's. Dan ducked his head away and fixed it himself, still pouting.

"Babe, if you pout any harder, your mouth might fall off," Tyler said, grinning at Dan. "Alright, what happened in Mr. McGreasy's class?" He sighed once he noticed Dan wasn't returning his grin. Dan gave a short chuckle at the nickname.

"I kinda fell asleep and now he's making us write about whatever the hell we learned today," Dan huffed, rubbing his temples. Tyler pulled his book, parchment, quill, and wand from his bag before turning back to Dan.

"Wait, us? Do you mean-

"Yeah, he's making the whole class do it, thirteen whole inches," Dan exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands. Tyler raised his eyebrows and whistled.