It was 4am, last night was okay i guess. I let Guigs and Bonehead sleep downstairs on the couch while the girls slept in my mam's room. I got up and went downstairs to get a few cans and a packet of fags. Knowing that there were other people in the house made me feel uncomfortable, i liked to be alone in the early hours so i could clear my mind. I opened the front door and sat on the step, it was pitch black and pissing it down. Welcome to Manchester.
*BEEP BEEP*
Shit. I had fell asleep on the doorstep with the door wide open for the rain to pour in, the house was fucking freezing now. I went to turn the alarm off but Sally had beat me to it.
"What're ye doin' up so early? Jesus christ its boltic in here, you're mental mr Gallagher." She smiled.
"I just came down for a drink, what about you? Got anywhere to be today?"
"Nah, probably just spending the day with Guigs, you know, the usual thing when you have a partner." She replied in a belittling tone.
I couldn't help but take it as sarcasm. Was she trying to make me jealous? Was she trying to rub it in that she had someone and i didn't?
"Yeah, listen, i know what you're doing. I'm not in a relationship at the moment because i'm not in the right state of mind. Shit has been happening lately that's been fucking with my head. I'm happy for you and Guigs, but i'm not into you, okay?" I said, feeling like a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
"Yeah sure..." She replied in a spiteful voice as she walked off into the living room.
What a bitch.
It was 9am now and i wanted everybody out. I didn't give two shits if people were still asleep, i needed my space.
"RIGHT, EVERYONE OUT. GET UP YE LAZY BASTARDS." I bellowed from the foot of the stairs.
"Jesus christ Liam what's yer game?! Fine we'll get up, next time shout a bit louder, i don't think America heard you." Moaned Bonehead as he was adjusting his belt.
----------------------------------------------
I was finally alone. I didn't like company, unless it was Noel's. Even if he was unfair and argued with me constantly, i loved him. I thought i liked the company of the lads, but now I was sure i didn't.
I was sat on the couch watching telly, the charts were on. All fucking bullshit, when was there gonna be real music on there? The world needed it. If only there was someone to make it.
I thought about Sally, why was she being an arsehole? She clearly knew that i wasn't in a relationship, and could probably tell that i hadn't been for a long time. Id had the odd girl around but nothing ever lasted for me.
Maybe i didn't like girls, the more i pondered, the more it became clear. I only ever felt comfortable when i was with... Noel.
Shit.
Were these feelings real? I could feel my throat become tight and dry, It hurt to swallow. I didn't like lads! What a load of bollocks! Nah... no Gallagher liked boys, how pathetic.
