Tom rounded the corner, breathing heavily as he looked at his watch. He stopped to a halt and pressed up. A minute passed, and Tom heard a bing as the elevator opened. In it was a massive paraplegic Asian who smelled of rancid waste mixed with sweaty pork.
"Get In," He gestured, noticing that Tom didn't want to take it.
Tom, feeling brave, decided to go in. He hit 35 and turned his head away, trying to get rid of the putrid smell. There was silence. The Man tried to make small talk, but it seemed like his brain cells weren't up to the challenge. Instead they both awkwardly stood in the elevator, listening to Nicki Minaj kill her guitar solo. Time seemed to slow down. Minutes fell like hours. John fervently checked his watch, trying to avoid contact with the wheel-chair bound man.
"S-so, why are you in such a hurry, mister?" The Chinese man said.
"My wife's having a child." Tom replied, surprised that the disabled man had the intelligence to say something.
"WOW! What a coincidence! Mine is having one too!" He said, joyously jiggling up and down in his chair.
Before Tom had time to say "How?", the elevator stopped. Tom jumped out and ran towards his suite, and opened the door. He ran to their room, ripping off his shoes as he slid through the hallways. He opened up the door.
His wife was laying on the bed, clutching a baby boy. Blood and water surrounded her, soaking the sheets. Around her sat three cloaked men playing blackjack.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!??? GET OUTTA MY PLACE!" Tom screamed, smacking some cards out of one of the cloaked men's hand.
He stood up. The man towered over tom. He grabbed the collar of Tom's shirt and brought him up to his face.
"You're lucky we're visiting you. We are the three wise men, here to bless your son, foretold to be the chosen one." The man said, tugging on tom's collar.
"W-what? Are you high or something?" Tom said as he heard a high pitched scream. Tom decided not to argue with him, wanting to see his son instead. He pushed the men aside and approached his child. There was silence.
"WHY THE FUCK IS HE CHINESE!!???" Tom said, his white face turning a shade of red.
"I-I... I...." She stuttered, failing to lie her way out of it. She looked towards the four wise men.
"Well...uh... here are your gifts...From me, a deluxe candle holder." The tall man said, bowing down awkwardly, trying not to laugh.
"And from me, hehe, um, a darth vader action figure with premium flick-fire missiles." An old man said, demonstrating the missiles by shooting them. It hit the baby boy on the head, who started crying. The man bowed, trying not to laugh.
"Finally, here I have exquisite copy of Big Nate and fri-"
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR GIFTS! FIRST WE HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHO THE FATHER IS!" Tom screamed, cutting off the cloaked man.
From across the room Tom heard a noise. It seemed like a massive object was coming towards them, one that had wheels.
It couldn't be.
"How's our son, Megan?" The Chinese man said, three pizza pockets protruding from his pus-ridden mouth.
Tom jumped out the window, killing himself on impact.
YOU ARE READING
The Legend of John Lee
RomanceA story based on true events, a virgin mother gives birth to the savior. The child is named "John", foretold to be the second coming. Flash to the future, John's a failure. He watches anime 6 hours a day, jerks off into a sock, and enjoys ranting ab...
