i keep having to be the one to
tell myself that i will be fine
even though i don't feel that way at night
the darkness without the sun takes away
all the glimmers of hope shining through the cracks
the doubt is reforming in a shredded mind
depression, an old enemy, has finally came back
i lay in bed for hours on end, only hoping for an escape
a fire exit from my brain, ladders puncturing my ears
always thinking of every single word i've spoken
it always puts me far on the edge
it sounds tempting to jump off the building and fly into the air
like a delicate feather, i will land to my death gracefully
you grabbed my wrist as i opened the window towards death
yanking me back into the horrors of life
after you pulled me back, you walked right out the door
as if i would not ever dare to try again
this wasn't just a coincidence that you were there in time
to spare me from my own life
now i am worse than i am before
only too scared to jump for i fear that this time
i will go without speaking three last words to you
these words aren't cliche, like
"i love you"
these words will be spat in your face with pity and hate
"don't save me"
and i will mean specifically,
do not give me a helping hand whilst i climb out of the hole
we both dug, commonly known as my grave
and then have you, just simply walk away
as if i were just another thing from just another day
