More Than Yesterday

Chapter 5

~օքքʀɛssɛɖ ɮʏ tɦɛ քast~

I missed my mom.

We're like a perfect family picture that time, everybody were envied at us. I have my mom, my dad, a brother but my little brother died because of an ailment but we still have to keep going.

Life is short. You only live once but if you do it right once is enough. We did many things greater than a family should've to do. It was like, I have parents as well as best friends also.

But little by little, our gratifying moments destroyed by a nightmare. It was an extreme and intense pain both physically and mentally. It was a fierce struggle proceeded to death.

It was an agony of never knowing what will happen. It was either survival or failure. Or neither of them.

I was seven years old back then. I'm such an innocent little runt kid to experience the pangs of pain. Seven years isn't enough to teach me the actions happening in the world. The difference between good and bad. I'm innocent enough to be harmed.

My mom and I were in the mall happily shopping when somebody gripped my arms and covered my mouth. I looked the man who kidnapped me and gave him an innocent gaze that maybe a help to be freed in chains I'm locked. But as my eyes gradationally shutting I saw my mom's figure, whining and terribly asking for a help.

I saw her coming but I got passed out.

I woke up and felt the pain of death. I opened my eyes and saw a dim light but I didn't dare to move because the pain has changed to an extreme throb. I'm so surprised that I still managed to lift my arm to touched the ropes tied around my body. I knew I was too weak and little to fight back anymore. I looked at my body and saw bad gashes in my legs. I wanted to touch it but I got scared so I erased the idea. I looked around to the abandoned room and saw a man asleep.

Maybe he was the one tasked to guard me.

The light was turned off but a small flashlight provided the bit glow. I took a deep breath before pushing myself to up. I groaned in pain as I finally leaned at the wall but it produced small sounds that made the man woke up in his snores.

"Mr. Stranger, c-can you let me go? I need my mom, now. My Dad will be worried at me. P-puh-lease?" I begged for help but the stranger ignored me like he didn't hear anything. The stranger went back to his sleep.

I bit my lip controlling to sob but I still cried. I feel so hopeless. I think I will spent my lifetime here at the small, dark box room.

"Hey! Shut up! Can't you see I'm sleeping? Dammit! Such a pathetic girl!" My adrenaline set in and I immediately pulled my knees up to my chest. I wrapped my own arms around my body tightly as if that would be a protection from the horror scene I'm facing.

Suddenly, someone lifted my head up forcefully that let my strands of hair falling. I saw another stranger covered by a black mask. I can only see his pitch black eyes, it was so emotionless. I can't even predict what was in his mind. His unexpressive eyes made me believe that I'm in hell surrounded by unquenchable fire.

"It's good that you're up, now" The stranger muttered that made me cringe. Still emotionless.

"You have a visitor" I looked at him hesitantly trying to figure out the one he was talking about.

"Baby girl my Fiona" a woman's voice spoke. I know that voice. . . that sweet voice. I'm used to hear that every millisecond.

Is that my. . . mom?

"Mom!" I whimpered. I stared at her for a few minutes. I was about to come but my mom swallowed by darkness and eventually faded in my vision.

"Mom" I woke up panting heavily.

I took a deep breath heavily and then looked around the area. I breathed again quickly. I can't even control my breathing.

"How did I get here?" I'm here at the library, clueless why I'm here.

I slept here at library without even knowing why I'm here. I remembered the dream I've been dreaming or should I say a nightmarish sleep after a long period of time.

It's been a decade since that time existed before the present. I thought I'm really over with that situation but it was just a thought.

I was haunted and oppressed by the secrets of my gloomy past. I felt like I'm crushed again into pieces.

I was loaded and burdened repeatedly by the power of my black past.

My past was my big tragedy and disaster happened in my life. It was weighing me down gradually.

All my life I've been experiencing a sunny day, cheerful and full of happiness but an unforgettable event came and turned the sunny to rainy.

In order to forget that event, my Dad sent me in a therapist to be completely move on. But my Dad didn't know that it was just temporary. The only permanent was the scars I've got from kneeling down.

But I really do want to move on but I'm physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. My mind, body and soul gave up easily. I'm fucked up. I'm tired but I don't want to admit that.

The past was getting me down. It was like a gust of wind that swept away my life. I'm incomplete without my mom.

I really missed my mom so bad.

I missed the way she call me baby Fiona. I missed the way she give me tender and care. I missed the way she stroke the strands of my hair. I missed the way she hugged me tightly like I'm gonna lose her. I missed the way she planted kisses at the top of my head. I missed those sweet little things. I missed everything with her.

I really, really miss you Mom. Please come back cause I still turn to you.

That small, dark box room I will never forget that place. That was where I got my claustrophobia. That was all the history.

Every time I'm thinking about things happened in my past I'll wept because of strong emotions mixing in my mind and heart. I'll express my deep sorrow by shedding tears.

I felt a fluid flowed in my cheeks down to my chin slowly.

The drops turned to waterfalls. My eyes gives off and then leaked fluids.

justdrewber