Blame It To The Heart

Chapter Six

"Why do you write about sad things? she asked. When I am here, when I love you.

Because someday, in one way or another, you will be taken from me or I you. It is inevitable. But please understand; from the moment I met you, I stopped writing for the past. I no longer write for the present. When I write sad things, I am writing for the future."

She was humming with the song being played while taking a shower and I was lying in the bed reading a book called Another Day.

"I will not deny happiness. Because if happiness feels real, it almost doesn't matter if it's real or not." Says a passage in the book. And I smiled because it's exactly the same thing that I'm feeling when Dennise is around.

It feels unreal. Everything feels surreal, like the first time she told me she has already fallen for me.

Flashback

"Dennise, please talk to me." I sent her the message and patiently waited for an answer. I drank last night, trying to get her out of my head. Out of my thoughts. I drank to make myself numb but it didn't help me at all. It only made me feel the real thing.

She's slipping away from me.

"Den, baby, please. I'm sorry. I didn't know what I'm supposed to do. I didn't know how to react when you told me you love him already. I was so hurt. Only then did I realize that I have fallen for you so much. Please talk to me. I can't afford to lose you." I sent again biting my knuckles from the frustration and anxiety and fighting off the tears from falling.

I was in my room taking a rest from travelling for 4 hours to be home for the Christmas vacaction. There was a knock on the door but I didn't answer it. I don't wanna move, afraid that if I do, Dennise will give me a reply and I don't want to miss a second for that. Someone opened the door and came in, "Why are you crying?" She asked.

I looked at the owner of the voice to see my Mom frowning. "Is everything okay?" She asked again and I nodded and smiled. "I'm fine, Mom. Just some stupid love story." I excused which she believed.

She walked towards me and told me to prepare my things for our trip to Manila and kissed me on my forehead. "Okay." I told her. For the hundredth time that afternoon, I looked at my phone to see if she responded but there was nothing.

"I miss you." I whispered on my phone screen as if she could hear me.

I started typing again, "Labasan mo na ko lahat ng sama ng loob mo. Murahin mo na ako't lahat-lahat. I will accept all of them, Dennise. Den, I love you. I'm in love with you. I'm so sorry." Four, five minutes, and nothing.

If I'm still in school today, I bet those crazy guys will surely take note of the gloomy aura around me. "Dennise. I miss you." I said again.

After a while, a white conversation box popped out and I need to blink a hundred times to make sure that this isn't an illusion. I took a hold of my breath. My heart skipped a beat and I almost jumped out of happiness.

"I hate you." She replied. But as bitter as it sounds, I didn't care.

I don't care about anything or anyone in that very moment but her and her reply. "I know. I love you." I responded but again, nothing.

But I took a hold of her "I hate you." Inknow it means the other way around. I know she feels the same way for me. I know it. I can feel it in my bones.

The afternoon passed, and I can say that my mood has improved. "Well, you look better." My older brother said. "You look like a dying chicken earlier." he said again but I only rolled my eyes on him.