Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide

ch 4

He's buried this part of him for years, for fucking years and now everyone seems fixed on bringing it up. Even Sophia, the girl he thought he was in love with, can see right through him apparently. He swallows thickly, avoiding Sophia's eyes.

"Why did we get together, Li?" she repeats calmly, taking a sip of her tea.

"Because... because I was being bullied and I was confused about my sexuality and so were you so we thought it would be easier if we just got together," Liam says after a moment's hesitation.

"Exactly," Sophia says. "Look, Liam, I love you, yeah? I'll always love you but not... not how we thought we loved each other."

"I don't..."

"When you proposed," Sophia interrupts, "we were just lying in bed, weren't we? And it was right after Jade and Niall got engaged and you just said maybe it's time we got married. Like, come on, Liam. We weren't even speaking to each other, we should have had our doubts from then on."

"I'm still not following," Liam says forlornly. "What does this have to do with Zayn? Why does everyone know about my so-called feelings for Zayn except me?"

Sophia sighs, setting her mug down and going over to the couch to give Liam a hug. "What I'm saying, babe, is that we were together longer than most of our friends, yeah? But when Harry and Louis got engaged it was before us and when Niall and Jade got engaged it was before us and they hadn't been together anywhere near as long as we had." She holds him close, pressing her nose into his temple. "What I'm saying is we weren't getting married because we loved each other. We were getting married because we thought it was the right thing to do."

"But I... I love you," Liam whimpers, arms wrapping around hers. Sophia shakes her head against his.

"Not like you want to, you don't," she murmurs. "And I'm guilty of it too, you know. When you were in the States I was so paranoid. And then you came home and dropped the biggest bombshell you could have done on me and I was so angry at you because I was thinking how the fuck could he do this to me after nine years together? and then I called Jade to take me out so we could get royally trashed, right? And she introduced me to some of her friends and I think... I think I've met someone else, Liam."

Liam's head snaps up like he's been hit in the sternum. "What?"

"Liam, we broke up a long time ago," Sophia says softly. "Maybe not officially but we weren't properly together for over a year, were we?" She gives him a soft smile. "We've just been on a couple of dates but I really like this girl."

"Girl?"

"Were you not listening to me a second ago?" Sophia groans with faux-exasperation. "I never had time to explore my sexuality, never let myself. But I like her a lot, Li. It's early days, but yeah." She shrugs, smiling shyly.

"Oh god, you really do like her, don't you?" Liam says, finally smiling a little when he sees just how happy she seems already. "What's her name?"

"She's called Perrie," Sophia says with a blush. "She's a nurse like Jade and she's bubbly and fun and she's bloody gorgeous..."

"Yeah, yeah," Liam grumbles playfully. "Rub it in my face that you've found someone, why don't you."

"Liam, don't be stupid," Sophia replies. "You found your soulmate when you were eighteen years old and I've spent the last seven years seething about it."

"Wha...?"

"You literally light up whenever you're in the same room as him, Liam," Sophia rolls her eyes. "You got married to him, for fuck's sake."