one shots [phan]

Arctic Eyes

Chapter 1:  Arctic Eyes

Word Count:  548

Song:  Arctic Eyes by Social Repose

Things with Phil have been rough lately.

It started with small disagreements which have gradually escalated to larger arguments.

I love Phil, and I always will, but I don't know if I can continue like this.  This relationship is poisonous, and every fight we have chips away at my heart.  Soon, I won't have enough heart to love him like I used to.  Phil and I being together will break me, yet its so hard for me to let him go. 

I sigh loudly as I get up from the couch, brushing my fringe out of my eyes. 

I have to talk to Phil. 

My palms start to sweat as I walk towards the kitchen.  I can hear Phil listening to the radio while making the occasional side comment about his coffee being too hot.

Typical Phil.

I shuffle into the kitchen nervously and sit done at the breakfast bar.  "Dan, are you alright?  You seem on edge."  Phil says, taking my hand in his gently. 

"W-well, no,"  I say, stuttering.  "I need to talk to you about something..."  I mumble timidly.  This is going to be harder than I thought it would be.  Phil's eyes look up and meet mine, full of confusion and fear. 

He knows whats coming.

"Sure Dan, what's bothering you?"  Phil asks, his words laced with anticipation. 

"I think we need to take a break from each other..."  I say, taking my hand out of his grasp.  I look up at Phil again to see that his eyes have changed.  His eyes, once wide with fear, are now different.

He looks at me with a gaze the could burn a hole in the sun.

An icy, lifeless pair of arctic eyes stare into mine mercilessly.

"I knew you'd say that soon."  Phil says in a surprisingly calm tone.  Getting up from his seat, he puts his coffee mug in the sink and turns back around to face me.  "I'll be gone by tomorrow."  He says in a monotone voice, piercing me with those eyes.  As he turns around to walk towards his room, I see an icy tear fall down his porcelain face.

I'm left speechless. 

I didn't expect him to oblige so easily.  I was expecting another brutal argument, full of cusses and cruel statements.  I stand up and push my chair in.  Slowly, I walk into my room, closing the door.  I feel a tear fall down my cheek as I take in what just happened. 

Arguments or not, we did have a spark.  Without that spark in my life, I realize that things can get so dark.  I feel more tears trickle down my face quietly.

Impenatrable silence coats the walls.

I wanted a way out, so what am I crying about?

I suppose that this just wasn't Phil and I's time;  It just wasn't meant to be.  In 2009 he promised me that it would last forever, yet it ended in 2012.

Just remember, all love has a beginning.

All love has an end.

Although I may not love Phil like I used to, I know this isn't the end.

Years will pass, we will meet again.

Different place, different time, we'll be different people.