Best Friends For Life

Chapter 1. Best Friends For Life.

Hey everyone! This is my new PHANfic. I'm really excited to write this! I hope you all do too! Also, trigger warning. Mentions of self harm. Sorry. -Aly

Dan's P.O.V

You'd think being the outcast would be fun right? Ha ha yeah, no. Ya see, it's always been difficult for me to fit in. I've always been the kind of kid to listen to different types of music or watch different movies. And because of this, I get picked on.

A lot.

Some days when I'm in class, people will just start yelling at me for no apparent reason. They yell things at me like "faggot" "weirdo" "gay" "worthless". It gets to the point where I actually believe those words that are being thrown at me. Obviously I'm gay, but that has nothing to do with some of the other words.

Some days it's the jocks who pick on me because of my clothing choice. Or it's even the cheerleaders, one of them tried to flirt with me freshman year. I told her I didn't find her attractive and she went back to her friends and yelled at me from across the gym, DURING AN ASSEMBLY "Dan Howell is gay!!"

The worst part was that I hadn't even come out yet. At the time, I just really didn't find her attractive. I mean, her face was alright but she was the most arrogant person I'd ever met. And I really didn't want to be in a relationship like that. But of course after that abomination, every one in my school started referring to me as the gay emo kid. The name stuck like glue.

I eventually gave up on trying to fix it because it was true. I ended up coming out a year later and I'm still emo, yay. But it's days like today that I just wish I had someone to tell how I feel. I need someone to be by my side when this happens, but I guess I'm a loner too, great.

"I'm always going to be alone, aren't I?" I thought.

This thought basically stayed creeping around in my mind, recurring every day just to make me hate myself even more. I never wanted any of this, all I wanted was a normal life with friends and happiness. But I guess my life wasn't chosen to be like that. COOL.

So here I am in the bathroom stalls once again. Having your head shoved into a toilet by jocks probably isn't the best way to deal with school. Why are they so mean? What have I done to them to make them all hate me?

I was just walking toward lunch when two big scary jocks grabbed me and dragged me into the bathroom. There I was greeted with five other jocks, grabbing me and throwing me in one of the first stalls that was open. They took turns pushing my head down into the shit and piss remnants of the toilet. Thank God they thought of me beforehand and flushed it. Bless.

I was trying so hard to breathe but every time I came back for air, I was met with another rough push on the back of my head back into the vortex from hell. I ended up closing my mouth, I thought about giving up, right there. They would just keep doing this until I went blue. They would freak out that I wasn't screaming anymore. They would find out I was dead and run away acting as if nothing happened.

But I didn't of course because I knew I couldn't let that happen to be my death. I wasn't going to let these stupid kids who think that their better than me, be the cause of my own death. I wanted it to be something out there. But I did think about it quite a lot.

When one of them yelled something, I was unable to hear as my entire head was submerged in a small, nasty, toilet, (Grindr bio ayee), they all dispersed. I was then left alone, pulling myself out and now hanging my head over the toilet watching the water droplets fall from my hair and into the nasty water.

"Why me?"

I began to cry but at first I couldn't tell if it were my tears or just water that was falling in front of my face, but I knew.