The Kids Of War And Peace

12: Bats Inside

Gerard and I.

Wow, that made my stomach flutter. Gerard and I.

I wanted him forever, I wanted him all to myself, always and forever.

A few months passed, Mikey and I were like best friends, Gerard and I were still going strong. Though Gerard and my relationship had to go slow, he was surprisingly fast at figuring relationship stuff out, and ways to kiss me, ways that I liked to be kissed, and just being romantic. I told Mikey about it, and for some reason he had been giving me slight relationship advice for when I felt that I was pushing Gerard too far, and he said he picks up on things super easily, even if he never heard it before.

Gerard and I lay in my bed, the door closed, the lamp on the desk turned on, which was our only light. We were home alone, it was maybe seven. Mikey was at his friend Pete’s house, and Mom was out working. Gerard has his fingers in my hair, my hair had grown out pretty much, and I dyed it black, so it was just fluffy and black, no more fauxhawk. He seemed to love touching my hair, always tugging gently near the back, where the hair was shorter near the nape of my neck. Some of my hair was just prickles down there and he seemed to like the velvety feel against his fingertips.

I had one of my arms around his waist, and my head on his shoulder and partially his chest. He was comfortable, I was comfortable, we were comfortable. I reached up and poked his cheek, he looked down at me. He had changed. Gerard had changed since he had first been in my house, he seemed better…not as frustrated at some things, more normal than he was before. He spoke a lot more, even to Linda and Mikey. His grammar was coming in better, though he still had that slight lisp when he tried to form words, and that thick jersey accent of his. Mikey had said that his therapist was surprised how much Gerard had changed, that it was because of me. Gerard had something to change and get better for, rather than being depressed and not bothering to try.

“What’s thinking?” Gerard asked.

“I’m thinking about you.” I answered.

“You are?” Gerard asked. I smirked and nodded. He smiled too, he smiled a lot more now, he was happier. Before, he had been stuck in depression and self-hate of being the state of mind that he was in. But now, he was happier and getting better. His therapist had also said that this wasn’t natural, that someone like Gerard, so far damaged and so far into the healing process wasn’t supposed to improve like he was. That he had something different about him, Mikey always insisted that it was me. Like I was almost a cure for Gerard’s healing process and improvement.

“I’m always thinking about you, Gerard. Why wouldn’t I?” I asked.

“Because everyone thinks differently.” Gerard replied, I smirked and wrapped my arms around him. “I think about you a lot, always, but sometimes other things too.” Gerard said.

“What else do you think about?” I asked.

“I think lots of things.” Gerard said, he looked down at me and smirked. “I not wait for this night. We alone, I’m happy.” Gerard said. I felt his fingers sift through my hair, tugging slightly and gently at the roots, just how I liked it. “I think about how much I like you.” Gerard said quietly.

“How much do you?” I asked, I liked when he got all sentimental about things. Where he’d speak freely, his speech would be almost one-hundred percent and he’d say the sweetest and most special things ever. Gerard sat up, taking me with him, he moved us a little bit so we sat in front of each other, our knees touching, and our foreheads touching. His hands were on my forearms, and my hands were on his wrists. We sometimes sat like this, silently for minutes, sometimes what seemed like eternities. It was just something we did. I was about to ask again when his hand ghosted up my arm to my shoulder, to my neck, up to my chin. He leaned in and pressed his lips lightly against mine.