What's Wrong?

Chapter four

Everyone chattered all the way back to the dressing room. They chattered as they cleaned up and they chattered as they walked through the lobby out to the bus. Once everyone started getting on the bus, things quieted.

Chloe was sitting with Paige and they were holding hands but not talking. Maddie sat in the back row and hoped no one would join her. Melissa was sitting across the aisle from her, but could sense that her daughter wanted space and left her alone.

When Brooke got on the bus, she made a beeline for the back and plopped down next to Maddie. She didn't say anything at first and Maddie stared out the window, willing the silence to continue. Maddie kept replaying the loud noise her foot had made against the stage when she stepped out of the turn, driving herself crazy.

There was a tap on her knee, and Maddie looked over to see Brooke turned towards her. "Relax," she smiled, and Maddie realized her fists and teeth had been clenched. Embarrassed, she released them and breathed in through her nose.

Brooke leaned her head on the seat and looked at Maddie. "What's wrong, Mad?" she asked softly. Maddie just looked, her big eyes locked on Brooke's. Brooke held her arms out and Maddie leaned into them. She sniffled a bit and felt Brooke's grip tighten. "It's okay, Maddie," she said. "I love you."

Maddie froze. I love you. Those words were not taken lightly. She thought the girls despised her. Maybe the Hyland girls were on her side after all. With this thought came a rush of relief, and Maddie smiled. Spirits lifted, she returned the hug and sat up.

Maddie passed into a dreamless sleep, and it felt like only minutes later when the bus was back at the Abby Lee Dance Company parking lot. Maddie slept the rest of the way home.

Before Maddie knew it, the girls were back at pyramid. Mackenzie, Brooke, and Nia were on the bottom for the same reasons as always. Abby wanted to see more from Paige, who took her spot on the middle row next to Chloe.

Maddie looked at the floor as her picture was revealed atop the sick pyramid Abby had begun doing at the command of the Dance Moms producers. Still, Miss Abby announced that Maddie had "screwed up the turns" in the group number, bringing a small smile to Maddie's face. She saw Kelly smile as well, which made her smile grow.

"Maddie, Paige, and Chloe will be doing a number," Abby barked out, and all the moms but Holly smiled. She went on to discuss the group number, but Maddie had tuned out. She was wondering why Chloe was crying in the bathroom and about Paige's hug when the group number won.

Abby dismissed the moms and told the girls to stretch. Maddie took her normal place in front of the mirror, but the more she looked at Chloe's reflection in the mirror, the more she began to study her own. Chloe was flawlessly beautiful. She looked like a cleaner, more angelic version of Christie. Maddie looked... plain. Awkward.

It was no wonder everyone expected her to be graceful. She looked the part of a ballerina even when she wasn't moving. Maddie's eyes roamed back to her own image. Brown hair. Chloe was blonde, and she always appeared to be glowing because of it. But Maddie looked darker, just like everyone else. Chloe was unique, beautiful, elegant. Maddie was short and only had grace when she danced.

Maddie's hand brushed her hair back, her eyes deeply sad. Chloe's so much prettier than me, she thought. She sighed, stretching down to adjust her jazz shoes and noticed Chloe smiling at her in the mirror. It wasn't a malicious smile like Maddie imagined it would be; she just looked... well, like herself. Like the Chloe she went to the state fair with, the Chloe she sang with on the bus, that woke her up the night the thunder frightened her at a sleepover.

Maddie tried to return the smile, but it was too hard. She asked to go to the bathroom. Gia was telling her she'd only been in the room for eight minutes and that she'd had half an hour before class started, but Maddie was already out the door and to the bathroom. She hurriedly locked the door to the whole bathroom before anyone could come after her, and then she closed herself in the big stall where she pushed herself against the corner where the walls met. She focused on breathing deeply, in through her nose and out through her mouth, over and over. It was working, but not the way she wanted it to. She needed her thoughts to stop racing.

Instead of deep breathing, she switched to slow breathing. Inhale. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Exhale. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Inhale again.

She continued this until she felt calmer. Only then did she notice Gia knocking at the door. "Maddie, you need to get out here. Paige and Chloe are waiting. Maddie, come on. Now!"

She sighed, frustrated, pushing herself up off the ground hard and shoving out the bathroom door, letting it smack the wall. She unlocked the main door and flung it open, stalking out to the glass door to the studio. She rolled her shoulders a bit before taking a breath and walking in. Chloe was working on turns in front of the mirror, her ponytail flying out behind her each time.

As the door swung shut behind Maddie, Chloe pulled herself to a stop and placed her hands on her hips as she walked back to her spot for the trio. Gia opened the door again. She looked at Maddie, raised her eyebrows, and said sharply, "Lose the attitude. Got it?"

Maddie nodded her yes. Abby gave her a stern look as Gia closed the door again. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," Maddie mumbled.

"What?" Abby asked.

"Nothing!" Maddie shouted, and immediately clapped her hands over her mouth.

"I'm gonna let that go because we're behind now," Abby said. "Don't you dare turn into some know-it-all diva." Abby turned

Maddie glanced up to the observation window. She knew Melissa wasn't there, but Kelly and Christie were. They were talking and smiling, and when they looked back down at Maddie, she was staring at them with a blank expression. She needed them to know she was aware that they were talking about her. And how she managed not to get in trouble, no doubt. If acting out made them happy, that was what Maddie continued to do, at least while Melissa wasn't around.

She was throwing her life away to please everyone else. Just like her mother.