In Between Love and Heartbreaks

Chapter 1

George's POV

I sat patiently in our dressing room and waited for Christoff’s cue. I asked him to watch her for me. It’s ironic that I am asking her ex-boyfriend to watch out for her. But I don’t have a choice. I needed to see her again. I wanted to make sure she’s alright, without her performer’s  mask on.

I heard my phone beep, I looked at it and smiled wistfully when I saw the wallpaper. It used to be “us”. But everything has changed. And if I’m going to get through this, if I’m going to get past this. I need to at least try. I need to move on like she wanted me to. Changing my wallpaper was the first step. I sighed and read the message from Christoff, he said Ashley’s short spiel is almost done.

I rushed towards the studio and saw Christoff waiting for me.

“They went that way. Pupunta na sila sa auditorium para sa press conference,” he directed. I gave him a grateful nod. “Go...” he said as he gave me a friendly hit on the back.  

I walked towards the direction he gave me. My heart skipped a bit as I saw her entourage. I couldn’t see her yet, but I know she was just somewhere there. As if on cue, I saw her. Her back was turned, but I knew it’s her. My heart knows it’s her.

I tried to catch up some more so I could get a glance of her. Unfortunately I wasn’t fast enough. The auditorium door closed at the same time as my hope of seeing her. I retreated my way out, defeated.

“Oh, bakit ka nandito George?” a voice from behind startled me.

I looked at the person in front of me and saw one of the network’s entertainment reporter. I bit my lip in search of a lie.“Ahm. May dinaanan lang po.” I tried, hoping to hide the nervousness in my voice.

“Si Ashley?” he asked amused.

“Ho?” I tried to play dumb.

“May conference sila dito ngayon ni Lewis diba?” he said.

“Ah, meron po ba? Di ko po alam. May dinaanan lang po ako sa may likod.” I tried to lie again. “Sige po, mauna na po ako. May pupuntahan pa po ako eh.”

He nodded. I just hope he wouldn’t put colors into this.

I walked away, but I tried to look back. He’s gone, he already entered the auditorium. The anxiety I was feeling started to die down and was replaced by weariness.

I missed my chance again.

Ashley’s POV

Great job today Ash. Next week, todo tayo, lalo kayo ni Lewis. I’m proud of you! Basta andito lang ako lagi, lalo pag kailangan mo ng payo.. I know you’ll get through this. Maayos rin ang lahat.

I smiled slightly after I finished reading Direk’s message. I just wish she’s right. I hope I could get through this.

I went towards the garden and contemplated on the things happened that day. It was a long day... seeing him with her made the day longer. I went towards the bench and I took out my phone. I tried to resist myself from checking my phone’s secret folder.

I closed my eyes trying to erase his smile as he looked at her.  He looked okay while I stood there  hurting.

I checked my phone again and saw the folder’s name. I couldn’t help but smile a little. I took a deep breath before pressing the delete button.

Are you sure to delete?

Am I sure? Should I start deleting him from my life? He seemed okay. He looked like he has moved on. But am I ready to completely remove him in my life?

Tears started to flow even if I didn’t want them to. My heart constricted in pain. Am I ready? Am I sure? These questions kept on echoing in my mind as rain drops toppled my nose.

I knew it’s starting to rain. Yet, I still sat there motionless.

I already knew that it was going to rain before I even went out. The dark clouds had hovered menacingly above me as I step outside.

Huge droplets of water started to fall from the sky, spattering the grass and leaves of the trees and plants around me. Everywhere around me, splashing along the street near my house, somebody breaking out their umbrellas. But still, I sat there, staring at the empty space in front of me.

The raindrops hit me, hard. I jumped in surprise and looked up at the sky. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Of course, it has to rain too. Perfect. Just Perfect. Once upon a time, the rain was romantic. The rain was a reminder of beautiful things, like new beginnings,  kisses, and just days made for snuggling in bed. Now the rain is nothing but a bittersweet memory of how things used to be. Things that were different. Things that were different GOOD. And as the raindrops slid down my wet cheeks, my salty tears started to form as if the rain had coaxed it from my eyes.

This is not how I wanted my life to be. This is not how I thought we would end up.

*FLASHBACK*

As soon as my van stopped in front of my house, I skyrocketed and run for my room. It’s really over. I finally ended things with George tonight and I can’t help but feel like I made the biggest mistake in my entire life.

I can almost hear what everyone will say.

“Sabi ko naman sayo, lolokohin ka lang niya.”

“Ano di ka na niya mahintay no?”

“Mas kaya kasi ibigay ni Miranda sa kanya yung di mo kayang ibigay!”

“Magsama kayo ng Mamsie mo ngayon.”

As I fell into my bed, the tears that never seem to stop kept on pouring out. I just want to forget the whole night ever happened. I am so tired. So so tired from trying to fight what’s inevitable. So tired of being Ashley Arguelles.

I was startled to hear a soft knock from my door. I don’t think I can bear the pitying stares and the soft comfort of anyone. I just want to be alone.

The door cracked open and I saw Dadsie standing timidly on the door. He smiled at me sadly, as if trying to gauge if I’ll push him away or make him stay.

“Wala na Dadsie... Tapos na.” I said with the sob and he half-run from the door and pulled me into his arms.

“Sige anak, iiyak mo lang yan.” He says as he ran a hand on my back comfortingly. I started to cry harder and before I knew it, I spouted  everything that happened.

He stared at me all choked-up and I can almost believe that he loved George for me as much as I do.

“Baka di pa oras nak, baka di pa ngayon.” He mumbles as he pulls me again for a hug.

And right there I wonder..

When will be the right time?

What if it’s too late?

*END OF FLASHBACK*

The wind blew colder, and harder. Still, I sat there, oblivious to the cold and to the harsh rain falling on me, wondering if my life will continue to be as empty as I felt that day. Wondering if George and I were doomed to drama, to madness, to pain, to anger.

How do things go from oh so right to oh so wrong? It seemed like it was just yesterday when we were celebrating our life together. A new beginning.

And now…

It only felt like the end.