ONE LAST TIME (Discontinued)

CHAPTER 2

Song of the Chapter : Stitches, by Shawn Mendes

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"I don't know how we should do this." Mukti spoke while looking at Alya with a weird expression that I couldn't pinpoint. It's seemed like both of them were on a different plane all together having a conversation I wasn't a part of.

"I mean, how will she react to this?" Mukti said and looked at me even though the question was for Alya. I frowned at that statement of hers and I could feel the irritation and and anticipation build inside me. They were talking about me, right in front of me as if I didn't exist in the same room. And so far I had guessed and I was sure I was most definitely right, about what this was. And the fact that they were bringing it up on the first day of college was not acceptable to me.

"Guys, I'm right here." I said with a straight expression hoping to remind them of my presence that they had most certainly forgotten. I could feel the tension radiate off of them in waves and it was making my stomach churn in the most painful way. This entire summer we had avoided this topic, none of us had the guts to face it. And to speak about it, how would we even form the words? All of us mourned silently, never taking their names, never talking about that fatal accident or discussing its technicalities. It was an unspoken code, essential for all our mental sanities.

And today, these two were standing in front of me, ready to breach it. Ready to speak about the unspoken. Ready to unleash a storm on me that I was sure to drown in.

Why wasn't I stopping them? Maybe I knew that we couldn't run forever. That someday, someplace, we would have to have this conversation. Maybe I just wanted to get it over with so I could go back to mourning and hurting in peace.

And as for my heart? It could deal with this. It had dealt with many blows. And how could whatever they had to say, crush the already shredded?

Alya and Mukti shared another look and another unspoken communication passed between them that I wasn't privy to. I watched as Alya took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The oh-so-confident Alya was shaking slightly and that caused a shiver of fear to run down my spine. I fought hard to not let my fear, apprehension and hurt show on my face.

"Nandini," she began, "Just give us some time okay? We've a lot to say and..and we're really struggling to find the words." Alya spoke and this time, it wasn't a voice of pity. She spoke with empathy as if the three of us were drowning in the same boat and we needed each other.

"Emotional talk was never my thing." Mukti said with a nervousness that had me worried, "But then all this happening to me wasn't my thing either." She said and I could detect a crack in her voice, it was the bottled up hurt of the summer spilling through.

"Honestly Nandini," Alya said, "We know now isn't the time for this but then it has to be done someday right?"

I nodded. I was right. We were all on the same page.

"And you're one sneaky girl." Mukti said with an amused smile, "Write a book, 'Crash Course on Dodging Friends Whole Summer."

I smiled a tiny bit at that. The accusation had hit home. I was seriously dodging them the whole summer. Avoiding calls and shooing them away when they came over. I had tried every trick on the book to be alone and away from them for two months. I didn't have it in me to face them. After all they were the living proof of what was wrong with the world. The great Fab5 with two of their members missing. I shunned them like the plague; their very faces were disturbing to me. However, to their credit, they never gave up. There was always one call or a text, everyday, from either of them. And I would be lying if I said that they didn't help me pass my sleepless nights better.