I'm Always Here

Chapter 5 ~what to do~

-tadashi pov.-

I decided to finally get up. Hiro had rolled over in the bed which gave me slight freedom enough so I could slip from underneath him. I told aunt cass i would be right back and i think i was gone for longer than an hour. I finished getting dressed and slipped into the bathroom to brush the taste of hiros dick from my mouth. As much as i loved the taste i dont think it would be a good idea to keep it in there.

Looking into the mirror while i brushed my teeth something seemed off. I don't know what it is. It wasn't like a physical thing it was more of a feeling...a deep feeling. What was it? Spiting out the toothpaste finishing up. I wiped my hand on a rag and then walked out heading back down stairs to the café. As soon as my foot hit the bottom step i was suddenly hugged from someone, causing me to fly back against the wall. Looking over and seeing nothing but blond hair I knew exactly who it was. Honey lemon. Instantly my chest started to grow tight because i finally realized what that feeling i had was. It was guilt. I had cheated on honey lemon with my brother. Its not just the bad part of cheating on her. Its also the part were i did it by having sex with my own brother. Honey lemons grip tightened on me, im guessing because i didn't hug her back yet. Quickly before she could squeeze tighter i wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace. Acting as if nothing happened. I need to figure all this out before i let people see that something was wrong.

She pulled back smiled and then kisses me. This caused more guilt to flow through me.

"Tadashi!! I missed you. Did you know i was coming? Brushing your teeth before i arrived?" She said this all to fast and all to loud for me to fully comprehend what she said.

"I misses you too" i said completely dodging the teeth brushing part.

She just kept looking at me with her beautiful eyes and pretty smile. I started to slowly untense. I cant tell her what i had did. It will break her heart and i don't think i can live with that. I dont think i could live with breaking up with her ether because that would also break her heart. I mean to be honest am i even with my brother after what happened? I mean we were both really horny and it just happened to go in that direction. There was no official date or asking one another out. So maybe i dont have to break up with honey lemon and i just need to worry about the whole sex thing.

My thoughts must have slipped through to my expressions because honey lemon was soon shaking me out of them and asking me if i was ok?

"Yeah, im all good. I just didnt get a lot of sleep last night thats all" i lied with a smooth smile hoping to sell the act.

What was i to do? I decided to push my thoughts to the back of my head for now i have to finish helping aunt cass and get to class with honey lemon.

"Are you all set her aunt cass need any other help?" I said with a smile sticking one of my hands in my pockets.

"Nahh you can go on out to class now. I got it all taking care of. If i need anything i will just call for hiro" aunt cass said with a all to happy chuckle and smile.

My heart started pounding when she said his name. I just smiled and nodded and headed towards the door with honey lemon at my side. I soon looked down and started to think deeply about hiro again. I just had sex with my brother who is way younger than me. Was this even right? Could it ever work? Wait! What am i saying it cant work hes my younger brother and it cant be right. Its against the law.

"Tadashi are you sure your okay? You dont seem yourself?" Honey lemons sweet voice kicked in through my thoughts.

I just plastered on that side smile and said "of course im okay".

I think I'll just forget what happened last night for right now and focus on my new project.

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-hiro pov.-

I woke up to find tadashi gone and i was still laying nude but slightly covered by the blanket. I cant believe that happened. My first sexual experience and with my brother that i love and have craved to touch me for so long. It was faster than i thought and more of a fucking than romantic but we will work our way there. I mean after all we are together now. We have to be. After two people have sex they always are together in the end. I sat up and rolled to the side of the bed standing and heading towards the bathroom. Looking in the mirror i saw my hair crazier then usual in every direction and a couple pieces glued to my forehead from dried sweat. I needed a shower bad after that. I started the water turning it all the way to hot and walked back in the room grabbing some clothes. Of course my nature attire.

After i was done out the shower i quickly rechecked myself in the mirror and made my hair look perfect. I then brushed my teeth. I needed to make sure i looked perfect today, for Tadashi. Finally finishing up i looked at the clock and it read 11:00. I have class at 11:30. If i leave now i could catch the 11:15 bus and make it to class just as it starts. Thank god i dont live that far from the college. On my way down the stairs i was hoping i could see Tadashi down there waiting for me like usual.

"Hey hiro"  aunt cass said setting a glazed donut on a plate down in front if me like she knew i was coming. She always has perfect timing with things.

"Hey aunt cass, do you know where tadashi went we usually walk to class together?" I asked hoping to not sound to conspicuous.

"him and honey lemon already left. I think they were going early today for some project the both were working on together." Aunt cass said smiling and setting a glass of milk down beside the plate.

I felt everything in me tense and my chest hurt ad i heard aunt cass answer to my question. Honey lemon. I forgot about her. I forgot about her and hiro. They were together. He cheated on her with me and not only that, then left with her this morning. Does he plan on telling her? So many questions and not enough answers. I felt tears start to weld but why should i cry when im not the one he cheated on with. I know why I'm crying now. Its because i realized that i don't even think Tadashi even wants to remember what happened last night and i think he just wants to forget everything in general. What was i thinking. How could he love me like i love him?

No. I wont take no for a answer i will make tadashi love me if its the last thing i do. I snapped out of my thoughts and realized aunt cass has been talking to me the whole time thinking i was listening. I just smiled at her.

"Im going to head out aunt cass thanks for breakfast" after i finished i quickly ran towards the door. I grabbed my back back the was next to it and ran out the door to catch the bus.

I will have tadashi as mine. No matter what i have to do.

-authors note-

I will be updating more now that i have my i pod and internet back so be expecting a lot less waiting and more updating.