After that night I swore to keep to myself to not let anyone in and to just control my feelings, it wasn't that easy.
I came home from Dans and just sat in my bed I didn't talk I didn't eat for hours straight until my mother kindly dragged me away from my coping space and forced me to reunite with society. I ate my breakfast and got changed and went for my run. I hadn't realised it yet but I'd noticed the familiar setting I was near dans house. As soon as I noticed where I was I fled bumping in to the one person I was planning on avoiding; Dan.
"Omg I'm so sor..."
I couldn't respond I couldn't remember how I panicked and walked back wards tripping over my own feet
"Wow um are you alright?" He said in between giggles
"Uh I um..."
He looked at me and I noticed the same kind of look in his eyes everyone else had, pity.
"I'm fine" I exclaimed suddenly remember how to talk once again
"Oh good" he said with less enthusiasm than expected
I turned from him, still irritated by his pity and took a breath returning to my previous stance.
"Look um I have to go" I struggled saying good bye but I couldn't hurt him
"It's okay see you around..." He said but it was too late I had already ran to the end of the street so his words where barely whispers in my ears.
On my way home I started to begin to feel weary and doubting everything I'd done I returned to the small park bench I had sat on the previous night to calm down and all my feelings flooded to my head and then the second flooding came from my eyes. I got up to leave and return home when I suddenly felt dizzy I went to sit back down but a pain in my chest kept me up I screeched out in pain and fell to my knees out cold led in the grass.
