The Cure

Kitchen Knives and Long Showers

"Lissy, I am having a bad day." Levi sighed, wringing his hands together anxiously. The pair were sitting next to each other on Levi's bed, casually watching a television show.

Felicity turned her head to look at her friend, a thin line forming at her forehead as she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Talk to me about it." She said, taking a tissue from Levi's nightstand and using it to push the power button on the television remote. Levi didn't like when the remote was touched with bare hands.

"My mind is going a hundred miles an hour, I just can not focus. I need to stretch my neck. I know I'll have do it two times. Hang on-" Levi cut himself off, moving his head from side to side twice each way. Crack. Crack.

"And when I touch you—" He stopped himself again, extending his hand out to lay it gently on Felicity's thigh. He raised his hand; dropped it carefully on her thigh again. His hand shook. "—I'm scared."

Felicity looked into his eyes. Though she knew he was feeling anxious, his face didn't show it. His expression was completely neutral.

"Why are you afraid?" Felicity responded quietly, her expression calculating.

"Because when I touch— touch. tu-tch. tch— touch you... my head is telling me I can kill you," Levi whispered. Felicity exhaled, her expression evening out.

"Tell me how you think you'd do it."

"What? No, Lissy, I'm scaring you, I know it." Levi replied, his expression finally shifting a bit. He seemed worried. Felicity didn't.

"Tell me." She repeated softly. Levi stared at her for a moment, before his lips parted.

"I- my head, my head is saying that if I'm close to you and close to my kitchen knives, I would take one and I would stab you. And you would bleed to death on my apartment floor. I feel guilty because if I am thinking I could do it so easily, why would I not? It would be easy. Ea-sssSSssss-y." Levi finished. Felicity noticed he had to repeat the s in easy; make it harder. Make it sound right. Maybe he really was having a bad day.

"Come with me." Felicity smiled. She took Levi by the hand and helped him up off the bed, and still holding his hand, walked them to the kitchen. The apartment was very small. The kitchen was practically inside the bedroom, so they didn't have to go far. Felicity walked him right up the counter and pulled a steak knife from the wood block he kept in his kitchen. She removed her hand from his.

"Lissy, what the hell are you doing?" Levi said; Felicity didn't reply for a moment. She took the knife and put it in his right hand, using her own to lead it up to her chest. Right in the center; right near her heart.

"Do it, then." She said. She wasn't shaking. She wasn't crying. She didn't even look scared. Levi, however, was quaking. For a brief second Felicity thought she saw water prickling in the corners of his eyes.

"Lissy, no, I don't want you to die! This is crazy!" Levi said. And, with what seemed to be a very difficult and calculated effort, he yanked the knife away from her hands and from her heart. With trembling fingers he replaced the knife back into its wood block. Then he took it out. And then he put it back in. It fell into its slot with a satisfying 'shunk.'

Felicity, meanwhile, smiled at him. She reached out, and she touched his hair gently.

"Not so easy, then." She started. Levi reached his hand up to hers and held it. Finally, even he cracked a smile.

"Intrusive thoughts, Levi. Those are your intrusive thoughts. You won't act on them. They're just in your mind to confuse you— and frighten you. You won't kill me any more than I'd kill you." Felicity said.