2013 February
My life would have not been so interesting if it wasn't for you.
The filing of candidacy for the election of new student leaders began early February, and I was being recruited to challenge the opportunity. My hard thinking to decide whether or not to vy for a position led me to several scenes in my head; me winning, me losing, responsibilities, expectations, discrepancies, and mostly you.
It is really weird and unreasonable, but whatever I think of, you are always my first priority.
When I decided to run, the most important factor was that... I would have the tiny chance of getting to know you, as per a student leader's task.
And so I run. I did what I can do best, I won, and the rest of our awkward moments are history.
Every time our adviser would give me something to do, I would, every time too, hope that it would be something that concerns you.
2014 January
One time, she asked me to inform all the students that were assigned to be a part of our school campaign of the schedule of the shoot. She handed me the list - and even though the list felt empty at first - your name in the last spot filled my heart and then my hand and body shiver in distress. I thought, what would I do now that I have to look for you, to see you, to talk to you, and most importantly, to just... Be with you?
I never had the chance to walk away from that responsibility. And so I searched for everyone in the list, one by one, in order. You being the last in search might compare to an ending of a wonderful film, that when I see you at last and we get together means happily ever after. But in our case, I'm just an officer tasked to inform you about your shoot and you're an ordinary student having the time of your life with your girlfriend while I wait for you outside the hallway.
Of course I told you what you were supposed to do the next day, what time you should be in and where you should go. Although I have waited long enough for this moment to happen, I never expected it to feel familiar.
You sitting by the window, me standing in front of you. The gestures fleeting from us ordinarily make us feel comfortable and at the same time weird with each other. I was aiming to finish talking to you in a flash, but we just couldn't. You even snatched the list from me, I don't know if you're pretending to read it or to keep me company. You're girlfriend's there waiting for you, asshole.
Minutes have passed so I took back my list before anything gets weirder, then I reminded you again of your schedule. You said okay and I walked away from there, from you.
I was walking then in the middle of the eating area when, you shouted my name and came running. I was stunned to see you running towards me, but even more when I saw your girlfriend running before you before me.
Of course I acknowledged: "Yes?".
Then, you said with your air-broken voice, "Is it okay if I wouldn't come?".
I felt my chest drown in despair. "Nooo. You must come. I can't take no for an answer. Ako ang malalagot pag wala ka." That, I ended with a sad face.
And you, with no hesitation, took back your uncertain question with "Oh Okay, don't worry. I'll be there."
I left right away.
And you turned back to your girlfriend, maybe talking your sched with her.
Evening came and you still haunted my thoughts, for only you, except everyone in the list, gave me that uncertainty.
So I decided to call you up. With all my might. Again, of course, I have your contact number. One of my privileges as the PRO ☺️
Dialing your number might have been a very nerve wrecking moment for me, but hearing your voice from the other side of the phone made my heart pound some more, causing it to skip a beat and bringing cringe but butterflies to my stomach.
"Hello?"
"Hello?"
"Hello? Hello?"
"Hello Max?"
"Hello sino to?"
"Si Via to! Uy ano punta ka bukas ne? Ako talaga malalagot pag wala ka dun T.T"
"Oo oo. Pupunta ako bukas. Joke ko lang naman yung kanina. Nakausap ko nadin sila Ma'am Antonio." (Happy voice)
"Sure ka ah? Basta walang malelate ah! 8am sharp!"
"Oo maaga ako bukas. Basta darating ako."
"Osige yun lang."
"Sige sige"
"Sige"
"Sige"
"Sige"
"Sige na."
I didn't know how many "sige/sige na" we had, but heck it was our 'okay-always'.
The next day, I was late in assembling all the student models in the shoot, and when I just came around, you were there waiting, complaining to your fellow student models, one of which was the Treasurer of the student body. She said to me "ate Via oh, may sinasabi si Max"
I asked with concern "ha? Bakit?"
Then I saw you look at me with one brow raised and you pointed to your wrist watch as you say "Maaga pala ah." You teasingly smiled.
You smiled.
At me.
That early morning and I get that smile from you, was something I never thought of happening. But it did.
Anyhow, I just reacted pissedfully and looked busy at that time. So as to not have a moment with you, because by that time, I already felt my heart jumping from kilig. It may result to me doing something stupid, and I don't like that. Anyone wouldn't like that.
That day I survived your charm. But you gave me another memory that will surely make it hard for me to let go. It's great but it will hurt.
