𝙈𝙔 𝘽𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙁𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙉𝘿 (REWRITING)

ONE

The feeling of the sand beneath my feet is something I'll always love. I watch the waves crash into the water below them. It's mesmerizing. The sound of the waves always brings me to my safe place.

I've been waiting for this moment for forever but something about this just doesn't feel right. I'm going to see my old best friends family for the third time since I moved from England over to the United States.

I'm going back to England this week to hangout with Gemma and Anne again. I haven't seen them in about a year and I really miss them. I usually only stay with them for a week or so, but this time they begged me to stay for a month.

I take one last smell of the ocean before walking back to my house. I have a lot to do before I leave for the airport. I have to finish packing everything.

...

I've just finished packing. I hate packing. I never know how much to take and no matter what, I always feel like it's never enough.

I let out a sigh as I think about returning to England. It's going to be difficult for me to go back and see where I grew up with my best friend. It's like all those years were just dreams that came to a sudden nightmare.

I miss Harry but I guess I can't do anything about it. He's found bigger and better things than me. He's also in the worlds biggest boy bands. I don't blame him, I'm not that fun to be around.  I'm just glad he won't be there.

Harry and I had a strange friendship but it worked for us. He's three years older than me. So when he auditioned for X Factor I was only thirteen. It seems weird that he was best friends with a thirteen year old girl but like I said, it just worked for us. He was literally everything to me. I looked up to him so much. I think I was also in love with him but obviously nothing ever happened between us.

He was just someone I could talk to about anything. He was there for me when my dad left. I had nobody but him. It was so hard when he left. He kept in contact for the first couple weeks but one things got crazy for One Direction, I stopped hearing from him all together. I went through my first heartbreak with Harry at the age of thirteen. I became depressed.

My mom realized that the only way I was ever going to move on from Harry was if we completely started fresh. She needed to do the same with my dad. She wanted to move on. So that's what we did. We moved to the United States when I was fourteen and we've been here ever since.

I love California. It's where I was always meant to be. I've changed a lot since Harry left. I'm not naive anymore and I'm not too sure if I believe in love either. It sounds dramatic, but I guess that's what your father cheating on your mother does to you.

.....

I hear a faint knock on my door just before my mom peaks her head in.

"Ready to go?" she questions.

I nod, "yes I am."

I walk down the stairs and think of how much I'm going to miss California and my mom.

It's only going to be for a month but this will be the longest I've ever been from home. I see tears filling up in her eyes and I just hug her. I let out a slight chuckle at her. She's always been so protective of me.

My mom is the strongest woman I know. She's been my rock through all of this.

"I'm gonna miss you, mom." I say with a laugh.

"I'll miss you more love." She says smiling.

...

To put it in the best way possible, I'm terrified.