Bleach: The Captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya x OC

Chapter 22: Regarding Yuki

We really hadn't been in the world of the living for long but to me it felt like a lifetime. Breathing in the crisp winter air here in the Seireitei felt like a cleansing ritual for my soul. Winter had settled firmly upon the Soul Society with its frosty blanket. 

Not unlike the frosty chill I was feeling currently by my side.

Rangiku quietly removed herself from the area, tugging a less than agreeing Murray with her off into the tree line.

Without Murray as my guiding force I felt out of my element. I tried grasping for something, anything to say him but I felt sick when nothing came to me.

"I can't being doing this." 

I stared at him, processing what he had just said.

He sighed and started again, "I let my guard down that night and it nearly got you and our lieutenants killed. It was stupid of us to assume we could do something so..."

"So normal?" I supplemented.

"So human." He stared through my like some kind of stranger and it hurt. I looked away, blinking back tears that threatened to slip out.

"I-- I don't understand... what changed?"

He combed his fingers through his hair in frustration. "You didn't take what had happened to you seriously, I mean you nearly died! You have no idea what it did to me when that espada ran you through! I lost my senses and I damn near went insane Akira."

I tried to take his hand and calm him but he ducked away from my touch. I held my sides instead in a vain attempt to hold myself together. 

"Of course I took it seriously, do you have any idea how badly I wanted to live? How badly I wanted to go back to the evening we had before all this shit happened?"

"This is exactly what I'm talking about! You can't have both Akira, you can choose to be a captain and fulfill the resposibilities that come with that title or you go back to being a regular soul reaper. If your head is in the clouds it's not thinking about your Squad or your duties."

His words cut through my like ice. 

"Don't pretend I'm the only one with feelings here Toshiro! Why bother with the charade if you planned to dump this on me later like it's my fault?" I brushed away the traitorous tears that now freely poured down my cheeks. 

His features lightened slightly. 

"It isn't your fault Akira. It's mine for making the mistake in the first place, I can't watch someone I care about go through that again. First with Momo and now with you. I'm sorry I just can't." He offered me an apologetic smile and directed his attention to the trees behind us. 

"Murray I suggest you take Akira to the Fourth Division and get her properly treated."

Like a jack-in-the-box, Murray popped out from behind the tree followed by a very sheepish Rangiku. He attempted to pick me up as he was ordered but I smacked his hands away.

"Last I checked we were the same rank Captain Hitsugaya, and I am more than capable of getting myself to the hospital," I fought to keep my voice level. Fuck him.

He winced at the formal tone I had used, "very well Captain Urahara, please make sure you make your report to the Head Captain post haste along with that message from Kisuke." He gave a curt nod and left without so much as goodbye.

Rangiku waited until he was a safe distance away before facing me. "Give it time Captain, he's been through a lot and I think he's still processing how he feels about all this. Believe me he never left your side when you were unconsious so I can't see him doing that now."