The Art of Persuasion

Chapter 1 : The Brilliant Plan

"Bloody Hell." is the only thing I can think to say in this situation. Well, I guess that should be past tense now, seeing how I've been standing here for about...hmm...I don't know, about ten minutes? I mean, what other words could fit this fine moment?

If you were in my shoes (hopefully you wouldn't have disgusting feet), what would you say if you were in complete, utter shock? Surely not "Oh, what a grand time I just had." since first off, it wasn't a jolly time nor would I able to say that much due to my shock. I can't start a rant on how gruesome it was because again I'm in complete shock here, mind you to those who weren't paying attention.

I could give a something like a groan or a grunt, but wouldn't it be bit odd to see a young gentleman like me making sounds that could be confused with animal call? I mean surely you would think "Just what is that bloke doing?" or something along the lines of that. I'd prefer not to be humiliated any longer.

Oh sweet Merlin, am I saying that I am indeed humiliated? No, I won't give into this. I'm just shocked, appalled, dismayed and all those glorious other synonyms for surprised. I can't be humiliated. No I refuse to feel such a thing. I will not. I repeat, for the second time, I not will admit defeat. I will not give her satisfaction.

Well I should get back to the subject of those two fine words, 'Bloody Hell'. Perfect to describe any situation really. Like, "Bloody Hell, I'm a genius!" or "Bloody Hell, you're such a git!" see my point? Yes? Yes.

Just what caused me to say this? Well a rather confusing and gruesome event really. I should take a walk down Memory Lane, well it really happen just ten minutes ago but it's still a memory, right? Right. Anyhow, it was just a normal day to start off with.

Well of course, I woke up and did the usual (got dressed, took a shower, copied Moony's Charms essay, etc.) and headed down for breakfast with Prongs. Breakfast was fine really. Had a biscuit and watched Prongs try to make his heart's desire, Lily Evans, 'swoon' over him by telling his tales of his famous Quidditch adventures, giving exact details every time he got near the 'Catching the Snitch" part. Evans seemed to be tuning him out the entire time, clearly annoyed.

I don't understand Evans really. I mean Prongs isn't terrible or anything. He's rather charming, really. Well, I don't feel that way towards my best mate, but girls do seem to take a liking to him. But no, Evans is a different girl, according Prongs anyways; she feels that Prongs is an arrogant prat. So much, that if you even touch him you'll somehow get some rare skin disease and end up living in Madam Pomfrey's infirmary. Sure, Prongs can be a bit of a show off, but aren't all of us guys are?

I mean most girls love it and such, I just think Evans is a waste of time. Of course Prongs doesn't think so, he always states, "She loves me, everyone knows it" with a huge grin. Well, I am always sure to wish him best luck with that. I don't think Evans even really has interest with guys. Well except Snivellus, those two were at least best friends or something like that. Or so I thought, seeing how Evans suddenly stopped giving little Snivellus attention. I honestly thought she was smarter than that. I mean if I was her, I would have stopped talking to him ages ago, preferably on the first train ride to Hogwarts.

Anyhow, while little Jamies-poo is having story time with Evans, Clara White, my now-Hufflepuff -ex -girlfriend surprises me from the behind. When I say surprise I mean in that "WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD ARE YOU DOING?" kind of way. She has this odd habit of hugging her 'loved' one from the behind. I normally wouldn't mind this but seeing how I'm eating, it's somewhat a choking hazard, isn't? Well, I guess it's somewhat like the Heimlich procedure.

We have been dating for about some weeks now...or we were, but we can't rush the story, now can we? I guess I should of have gotten used to these 'attacks' but the thing is, they're always a surprise and it just happens to be when I least want one.