The Art of Persuasion

Chapter 12 : Mr ShagsALot

"OH MY BLOODY GOD." those were the words that broke that horrid silence. My eyes shifted to a shocked Geoff...clutching to his puppets. My gaze went back to Cliff Morris...the young man whom was carrying around a picture of Potter for at least two years...risqué, no?

My fingers calmly grazed across the picture once more. Cliff jumped as I took the picture out of the wallet.

"I said don't touch it!" he shrieked as I stared at the picture. Lily peered over my shoulder, making no attempt to hide her curiosity. Geoff, however was yelling various curses from what I assume, shock.

"Cliff...is this what I think it is?" I asked as I gazed at the worn photo. Pools of blue darted towards me harshly as a hand reached to snatch for the picture. However, Geoff was quicker and yanked the photo out of both our reach.

"Oh, look at this. This was when Potter was going through puberty." Geoff stated as he examined the picture with a huge grin developing. A laugh threatened to tumble out of my mouth but I contained it. Lily, on the other hand, gave a tiny laugh. Cliff's eyes then darted to her then to Geoff.

"Give that back." he spat as he reached for it. Geoff's arm shot up in the air before Cliff's fingers could even graze upon it.

"HOLY SHIT. THIS PICTURE HAS BEEN FOOOOOOONDLED." Geoff sang the last part in high yet amusing voice. I bit my lip to fight the reoccurring urge to tumble over with laughter. Lily sneered as her face took upon a look of disgust. Cliff's cheeks reddened quite quickly as reached for the picture frantically.

"GIVE ME THAT FUCKING PICTURE!" he shrieked as he continued to jump up and down. Pity drifted about in my mind as I saw Cliff's short statue go against Geoff's tall and somewhat lanky figure. Though, this was too hilarious to stop.

"LANGUAGE, PLEASE. MAY I REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE TWO, SWEET, PURE INNOCENT WOMEN IN HERE?" Geoff's voice bellowed with enthusiasm as he motioned towards Lily and me.

"Just give him the goddamn picture, Geoff." Lily groaned as she eyed the prancing Cliff and the idiotic Geoff. Geoff gasped at Lily's 'horrid' language.

"Lily Billy! How could you speak such vulgar words?" his other hand brought out one of his odd puppets for some type of effect, I suppose.

"Well, you just said 'shit' a moment ago." I spoke up in confusing conversation, feeling left out a bit really. Geoff shoved a puppet in my face that looked remotely like Sirius while his other hand still continued to hold the 'fondled' picture above Cliff.

"Mr. Shags-A-lot objects to that notion. 'Shit' is a very manly swear. 'Goddamn' is the swear what bitches use to express their...well bitchiness." I blinked at the absurdness of this explanation but chose to drop it. Geoff always had crazy comebacks for everything. Why, he could come up with a winning argument about how Professor Dumbledore looks dead sexy in a Speedo...mad, no? That is my point exactly.

"Are you calling me a bitch?" Lily asked quite offended to which Geoff's face spread with fake panic.

"Of course not, my love! That's the reason I'm telling you two not to say it; only bitches use it." Geoff explained further. Lily sighed and dropped it but I picked it right back up.

"Clara White says 'goddamn', does that make her a bitch?" I challenged as I watched Cliff continue to jump up and down.

"A very cute one." Geoff simply replied with a grin to which I rolled my eyes. I remained silent as Cliff refused to stop reaching for the photo.

"Cliff." I called calmly even though curiosity was killing me. He stopped jumping and turned towards me with a glare.

"Mind calling your 'manwhore' off?" he spat at me, which made me...laugh. It wasn't the 'HOW HILARIOUS' laugh; it was that awkward laugh you laugh when your parents tell you that your hamster is dead and you end up breaking into sobs. Need I say more?