The Confessions of an Insecure Girl...

Chapter one

*Please read authors note on the bottom.

Kyle's P.O.V

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"Everyday we smile and act like nothing's wrong, it's called putting everything aside and simply being strong"-unknown.

I feel like that's my life right now, and in fact it always has been. A lot of you wan to know who I am. I get that. Some of you think I need help, but the truth is I'm fine. Okay? I'm not going to go become anorexic or jump off a bridge. But what I am going to do is tell it to people straight. Life isn't always easy but one of the best ways to feel better and feel like you're going to be okay. The best way to that for me is to talk about it. Or in this case right about it.

So you want to know who I am? Well here it goes, in my mind this is who I am. I'm the girl who goes unseen by the average eye, I'm pretty but very fat (Even though I'm not at all. Size two is not fat ladies and neither is 12.) and people don't think much of me. I like to play sports and hang out with the few close friends I have. I am very friendly and can continue a conversation on with just about anyone. I always look for the best way to lend a helping hand. In fact I feel bad when I'm not doing anything to help out others. And I think I am going to die alone with about seventeen cats(give or take a few) because I haven't had a steady relationship yet.

I'm lonely, and jealous. All sorts of people around me are in relationships and have somebody to call there's. Someone to comfort them and to just be silly with. A person to look forward to seeing everyday when they wake up, and a reason to smile before they fall asleep at night. Someone to spend endless hours kissing and wishing time would stop and let them have that moment forever.

See the real truth as to where this is coming from, is do to the fact that I am totally, completely hopelessly in love with someone. This isn't a tragic story of how he doesn't even know I exist and I'll never have the courage to talk to him. (Well not this time anyway) No this is a story of someone who is very close to me. My best friend actually. Well in my mind he's my best friend, I really don't know if I'm his best friend in his eyes. The thing is I love him, I really do. I know everything about him and he tells me about anything and everything that goes in his life. When I'm with him it's the most comfortable I ever am around a person. When I’m with him I feel like I’m on top of the world, sighing high with nothing in my way. I find myself in awe of everything he does I hang off every word he say's. I go watch him play football all the time even though I have never understood the sport, and hate sitting in the cold stands.

Has this ever happened to you? You've fallen so deeply in love with someone that you can’t hold back anything. You’d give up your left arm to even spend a second with them. You feel like every second of the day your mind wonders off to him, and you waste all your time thinking about him? When  you're not with him, all you can do is think and dream of the next time you will be. You practice all the things you’d want to say to him in front of the mirror, and spend an extra half hour in front of the mirror trying to impress him. But when asked if you like him, you deny it? That’s called being head or heels in love.

But he doesn't know how deeply I care for him, and  I long to be the reason he smiles everyday, To hold his hand, to spend endless hours kissing him, and wishing we could forever stay in this moment. But I know he doesn't think of me in that way, in fact until only a few short days ago he was dating a very pretty, very nice, amazing girl. With her I know why I could never date him. The one thing she didn't have that I had....Confidence.

xoxo_Theinsecuregirl.

My eyes were in complete shock. How could she think about herself in this way? She was not going to die alone with seventeen cats! I had never even met, or seen this girl before but I already knew she was beautiful. It sounds crazy when I say it but I think I have fallen in love with a girl who I know only from the things she posts online. What she writes most of the time is beautiful like the piece friendship. It drives me insane how hard she is on herself, she needs to know someone out there cares for her, even if it'd just the tiniest bit. I couldn't take it anymore, so I did something even though I had promised Cassie I wouldn't.