Don't you see?

Her 17th Birthday

This was her 17th birthday and it already sucked. Her parents were already yelling at her and nobody even wished her a happy birthday. She left the house just trying to get away. She went to the coffee shop down the street. Her friends are usually there. Today they were sitting in their usual booth in the corner tucked away from everyone else. She walked over and saw them all stare at her and whispering. She had gotten use to it by now even her "friends" made fun of her now. She sat down and the whispers had stopped but the looks didn't. She tried to ignore it but it was hard. "Hey!" She chirped in her happy voice as she faked a smile. All her friends did the half "hey" without really meaning it as they tried to ignore her. She knew it but she didn't have anyone else to act like they cared. They all ordered breakfast but she said she already ate. That was a lie. Her friends looked at her each other knowing what that she didn't and that she was an anorexic freak! She noticed what was going on and quickly ordered an omelet. Her friends again exchanged looks with one another. She couldn't take it so she excused herself and went to the bathroom. Where she sank to the floor and cried. She rolled up her sleeves and pulled at a razor. She locked the door and stared at herself in the mirror. Tears running down her face she picked up the razor and slid it across her arm. Tiny blood drops formed on the surface. She whispered to herself, "I deserve this. I'm worthless. I'm not loved. I don't belong. I deserve this." Everything that happened that morning rushes back into her head. The fights with her parents. Her mom screaming at her, "you're a worthless piece of shit! Why are you still here? Get out!" Her dad stopping her before she ran out the door and whispering into her ear, "you were a mistake." Coming to the cafe and her so called friends whispering and staring at her like she was a freak. She looked in the mirror again, "I deserve this." She slits her wrist again. And again. And again. Until blood runs down her arm forming a puddle in the sink. She stands there for a minute regretting it. Then she washes her arm off and pulls down her sleeve. Fixes her makeup and readjusts her shirt. She wipes her face off again looks in the mirror and practices her fake smile.

She returns to the table with a smile. The one girl Ashley looks at her and says to her very quietly, "We don't want you here. We aren't your friends. So could you leave?"

She nods understandably apologizes and finds a new table by her self in the corner. She can't believe it she has nobody. Everyone hates her.

She leaves the cafe and walks to her best friends house. He's always been there for her in the past maybe he'll still like her. When she gets there she knocks in the door and is welcomed by his beautiful smile. "Happy Birthday!" He happily tells to her. "Come on in!" She walks into his beautiful house. She walks in and off to the right is the kitchen and to the left the living room and straight ahead is his staircase. Everything is so beautiful and covered in an elegant wood. He leads her to the living room where he informs her that his parents aren't home for the day.

"Jesse?" She asks in a concerned voice as she stares down at her arms.

"Yes, Chloe?" He answers looking up worried as he sees tears starting to stream down her face.

"I-I uhh..I did it again.." She says in a soft voice as she chokes back her tears and stares down at her arms pulling her sleeves down and fidgeting with her hands. He takes her hand, "come with me." He takes her out the back door and out to their favorite tree where they have sat before talking for hours. That's the same spot where he found the first time that she had cut herself. That's where he tried to help her before. That's where she confessed to him about not eating and throwing up. That's where just a week ago she had told him she would stop. All the memories flood back and she starts crying remembering the promise she made to him to stop.

He stops at the tree and demands an answer of why she did it again. "I thought you were trying to stop? What happened?" He looks into her eyes and can tell she was already regretting it.

She tells him about the fighting with her parents. She tells him about the cafe. About her "friends" and how they made her feel like crap. She tells him about the bathroom. She shows him the new cuts under her sleeves and watches as his eyes widen and begin to water. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. You have to stop. This isn't you! This isn't good!" She looks down at her shoes, pulls her sleeves down, and stands there. Waiting to answer..