you honesty can't stop it. Your first is like passion. All those thoughts and feelings that justgoing away. It mkes you feel amazing and its addictive. You can't tell someone to stop cutting, you just have to hope and pray that they do. It just glides agains your skin, you never have to worry about it judging you or breaking you. It just does the job. You watch as it slowly drips down your wrist. Warm, slow, and free. Some people say its stupid. Gross and emo nd depressing, but they dont know what it is actually like. YOU can't stop. i love it too much. It gives me that strength to know what is real in life. If you dream to much, you start to imagine that its real and you leave out the life you are actually living. It confuses you like hell. I hate it. Everything feels like a dream you have to focus on that moment ten times harder then you would and figure out what is happening. I've made that mistake more than once. Looking at someone and dreaming about them, some people laugh at say its dirty but they dont know whats going through my mind. Instead of dreming sexual thoughts that people assume, im thinking. What are going through? they're smiling way too much, maybe there broken and need help? wait no, maybe they are just happy? they were a lot of braclets, do they cut? or maybe they just like them so much they have to were them all? but if they do, do they like it? does it feel good like i do? its all that goes through my mind. What if there is someone out there that speaks and feels the same way that i do everytime i do it. you only feel guilty for the first second its against your skin then, its you setting yourself free from the world and everything that it does to you. Its always been like a drug tho, you feel across the world once you do it, powerful,confident,strong.....addictive. it can't last long so you have to keep doing it. Even if its close to killing me..... its the only thing that makes me more human.
