Broken

Chapter One

I'm disgusting. I'm worthless. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm a disappointment. I'm a disgrace. No one loves me and no one ever will. I'm gay. And I hate myself everyday for it.

My eyes open. I'm laying in my shit excuse of a bed. Staring at my cracked, broken down ceiling. Another day. Another day in this hell called my life. Maybe one day I'll wake up and it will all be gone, everything and everyone will just disappear. Bullshit. That's a fairytale. This is real life. So get out of bed and move. Moving my duvet, I sluggishly slink out of bed. The hard wood floors creak as I walk. The air strongly smells of pot. Oh great. He's still here. I roll my eyes and waddle to my dresser. The cool air running down my spine, sending chills. I pull on a white button up shirt. followed by tying a black tie through it. Then throwing on a pair of black jeans over my boxers. And lastly, my blazer. Whoever designed these uniforms is literal Satan. I look at the time on my phone, 7:55am. Great. Quickly, I grab my school bag, shove my phone in it and open my bedroom door. I get a quick glance of myself before heading out. Disgusting. Fat. Ugly. Those are sone of the words that come to mind, I try to ignore the thoughts and quickly head downstairs. I reach the bottom, stopping before going any farther into the dining room. The smell of marijuana and vodka makes my eyes water and burns my nose hairs. I look around the room. He's laying on the couch, weed in hand, looking almost passed out.

I stand there. Frozen. Just go quickly and he won't see you. I gulp, fear welling in my stomach. I silently speed walk to the front door.God it smells disgusting. Finally making to the front door. I turn the door knob, finally escaping this shit ho-"where the fuck do you think you're going?" Fuck. His voice booms. "School" I answer quietly, my voice trembling. "You better be, or else your mum and I would have to beat your ass" he chuckles. I ignore his words and walk out the door. I quickly run to my car, getting in and throwing my bag in the passenger seat. I sigh as my knuckles clutch around the steering wheel. Today is going to be terrible, I think to myself just another shitty day. Now off to hell. Great. More comments. More abuse. More bullying. More shitty people. Just fantastic. I continue to drive to school, dreading the day to come.

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I arrive at school, shitshitshit im late. I run to class accidentally bumping into someone on the way there. "Shit, sorry" I mumble and keep sprinting. I make it to class and apologize for being late. "Howell, that's the third time this week. One more and I'm going to call your parents" my teacher calls. I mumble another apology and go to my seat. I'm sat in the back corner tracing my fingers against my desk, not listening to the muffled lesson being given. Maybe I will actually do it today, I think to myself. Maybe if I'm not such a pus- my thoughts are interrupted by the classroom door being quickly opened. I look up to see a blue eyed boy panting and gasping, trying to explain for being late "Good morning I'm so sorry I'm late my car was being stupid so I had to-" "not a very good first impression Mr.Lester, but its alright just don't let it happen again" Mrs.Nikki interrupts him.  The boy looked frazzled and embarrased. I had never seen him before. He's gorgrous. His jet black hair was swept in a style similar to mine, his pale skin complimenting it. And his eyes, they were like the ocean, they sparkled brighter than anything I had ever seen before. You could swim in those eyes. "Class, this is Phillip, he just moved here and will be learning with you. Please make him feel welcome" she pleaded. "Erm its phil and thank you Ms-?" he has a thick northern accent, I look back down at my desk not wanting to stare. "Mrs.Nikki" she answered him, as she gestured for him to take a seat. Phil obliged and sat at the desk right next to Mine. Shitshitshithessocuteohmygod. I can feel my cheeks turning red. Our teacher continued with her lesson and I continued to zone out. I suddenly feel something touch my hand. I blink back into consciousness, looking down to see a small piece of paper in the palm of my hand. I turn my head to the left seeing phil looking at me with an adorable smile. I pick up the paper and see that it reads "hi im phil ^_^ whats your name?" whats this guy on about? I ignore my thoughts and write back "hi im Dan"  I'm just about to hand it back to phil when the bell rings signalling its time for my next class. I rise from my seat and start heading out the door, when someone suddenly grabs my shoulder. I turn around to see the same boy, smiling and talking to me. Why is he talking to me. "Hey! Erm, I never caught your name" he beams, that silly little smile plastered on his face. "Um I.." I glance at the clock. "I have to go"  i exclaim, releasing myself from his grip and scurrying to my next class. I glance back for a  second, seeing Phil still standing there small paper in hand and no longer smiling, but smirking instead.

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Blood. spewing from my nose and out my mouth. One punch after the other. Pain shooting throughout my body. Tears rolling down my cheeks. "Awe look, gaylord is crying, we should probably stop" charlies voice booms in a sarcastic tone, "or we could keep beating the gay out of him" one of his minions suggests, giving me another punch to the gut. "Great idea" Charlie answers, kicking my jaw. My vision is blurry, and my whole body is shaking. I'm soaked in my own blood and tears. I can't breath. Everything is beginning to go dark. Suddenly a loud ringing noise is heard and the punches stop. "C'mon boys, that's enough for today" Charlie snickers, all of them begin to exit the bathroom. Leaving me. Bleeding, crying and gasping for air.

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A/N
Oh hallo θwθ yus im alive i know its been ages :P sorry about that phriends! But im here now ^_^ so im going to continue to write this and try as much as possible to not procastinate <3 SEE YALL LATER