An Array Of Dissapointments

Chapter 8

Disarray's POV:
When I woke up there was a soft beeping sound about every second. It sounded like it was keeping rythym with a heart.
I smelt some sort of chemical that made me gag. I heard whispering around me & yanked my eyes open & jolted up into a sitting position.
There was suddenly a hand on my shoulder.
"Shh. You're okay." I recognized the voice as my Dad's. I melted at his voice & relaxed a little. It was calming to hear him again. I hardly ever saw him. He's a police officer & he always worked long, strenuous hours. He enjoyed what he did as a living though & that's what mattered. Of course, he wished he could spend more time with the family more often but he did his best he could. Besides, it made every second we spent with him even better. But we all- at least I do- still get lumps in our throats when he leaves. Just the thought of him not coming back terrifies me. For that reason, I never missed an opportunity to make him proud & tell him how much he means to me. I sometimes even slipped little notes & drawings in his lunch bag I made him when I knew he was having a particularly bad time with work or something. We shared ice cream or something with peanut butter & chocolate (sometimes both of them honestly) on Thursdays since those were the last of his work days foe the next two days unless something big happened. While we were eating we'd usually talk about what's going on. Sometimes we'd just turn on music (especially Twenty One Pilots) or a movie or something & hang out.
I looked up from where I was looking at the bed to see some doctors walk in.
"Ah. You're up." They said.
"I'm Doctor Malcolm. This is Doctor Mike." Doctor Malcolm told me.
A nurse popped in. She was small & thin framed. She had the calming aura around her that made you relax.
She looked at me softly & spoke as gently as she could, "I'm Nurse Rachel."
I smiled at her softly & held up a hand in a form of greeting.
"I need to ask you some questions once Doctor Malcolm & Doctor Mike are finished checking to make sure you're healthy enough." She told me softly.
I nodded my head & turned to Doctor Mike who had cleared his throat.
"Dad, could you please give us some privacy?"
I looked over at Dad who was watching me asking me silently if it was okay. He knew I had problems being around people I didn't know & had a hard time especially if they touched me. I saw the sad, hurt look in his eyes & looked down at my hands & nodded.
I felt him nod his head, walk over to me & enveloped me in a hug. I stiffened but as soon as his cologne hit me, I sank in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck & choked out, "I'm sorry Dad."
He gave me a squeeze, kissed my forehead & headed towards the door. He paused at the door & I knew he was looking behind him to make sure I was still okay. I nodded even though my head felt really heavy with my thoughts & I wanted to sleep again.
Once he left the room, Doctor Malcolm looked over at me & gruffly asked me how I was. I shrugged & told him, "I'm fine."
"Don't lie. We're here to make sure you're okay & get you out of here." He told me.
I flinched at how cold his words sounded.
Doctor Mike put his hand to Doctor Malcolm's shoulder. He understood the silent suggestion & left the room.
I looked up at Doctor Mike. He was a tall man. Must've been around 6 feet. He had light blue eyes & had some bags under his eyes & I softened knowing how tough jobs with grueling hours could be. I'd read somewhere that doctors pulled multiple 12 hour shifts or more if it was overwhelming at the hospital. His hair was a type of red but it was short. His body was muscular but he had a bit of a belly. One that reminded me of a pregnant lady who had a soft tummy. I smiled. It was like I was looking at a giant teddy bear.
He smiled at me which made me surprisingly relax more. He had one of those smiles that lit up a room. I knew it wasn't his REAL smile but it was still a beautiful sight to see. It was kind of weird to think like this taking in so much detail about him considering he looked like he was mid 30's to early 40's. I couldn't imagine how many women swooned over him. Too bad for the women though. It looked like someone had already caught the man.
"How are you?"
I looked at him then darted my eyes, "I'm fine." It was harder to lie to him than the other Doctor.
I looked back at him nervously & his eyes softened.
"No. Really. How are you?"
My eyes widened in surprise. I took a breath & prepared myself.
"Honestly?" I asked him carefully.
"Yeah." He told me patiently.
"My head kinda feels heavy & pounding. I'm really tired. I want to sleep.." I sighed.
He looked at me gently & told me "You can't go to sleep. Not yet I'm afraid. We need to make sure you're okay, get you to eat something, maybe give you some medicine for your head too. After that, we'll let you get some sleep. But then you'll have to answer some questions."
I nodded in understanding.
They asked me a few other questions I vaguely remember then gave me a small smile & left the room.
I looked out the window. It was night time now & I could see the lights over the city. I lived in New York City & it was stunning. I enjoyed the view of the skyline.
Of course, I'm sure everyone did.
My mind fluttered over to the two doctors & the nurse. The nurse seemed nice enough. She was the one who asked me the questions I vaguely remember while Doctor Mike stood to make sure I was okay.
Doctor Malcolm I didn't trust. He gave off a cold vibe. Maybe bc I lied to him. But I was always bad about my feelings.
Then I realized I told Doctor Mike what was wrong. Of course, Doctor Mike seemed calm & peaceful, someone who gave off a trusting vibe. Plus, he had acted like he genuinely wanted to know. Like he didn't look at me knowing hed be making money off me. Instead, he looked at me like I was a human with feel is who he cared about. Which I knew was outrageous considering wed just met. Of course, I sighed at my body, I'm sure he realized the marks all over my body. If he didn't, he was blind as hell & surely shouldn't be working at a hospital.
I heard running in the hallway & stiffened listening. I heard quiet murmuring outside my door & relaxed myself enough to make it look like I wasn't concentrating on the door. Someone opened it & breathed out "Disarray."
It was Jeremiah. My heart stopped & my head got foggy. Was the kissing a dream? Maybe.. I'd have to poke around. I shut myself up inside my head as soon as I saw he had been crying. My heart ached to hold him but instead I looked away in shame.
He came over & sat down next to me. He put his hand out right as I scooted over. I guess he thought it meant "don't touch me" bc suddenly he put his head down & sat numbly in the chair next to my bed. I tapped his shoulder & he looked up. I took his hand & pulled him up next to me. Once he was there I smuggled in next to him & tightened my arms around his torso. I had bad anxiety since he walked in but as soon as I was in his arms, I melted completely. I felt at home.
He took the opportunity & pulled me close & held on.
"Why?" He asked me a little hurt.
"Why what?" I asked stalling.
He looked me in the eyes & I knew. I crumbled & I gave in. I spilt everything to him.