Addicted

3

I woke up and it was early the next day, I must've passed out cause I don't remember anything else happening other than talking about my past. I woke up in my counseler, Carla's house. I knew it was her house by the paint on the walls and the shiny wooden floors, they must had called her, because weirdly she's the only one that did come and try and change my ways. She was used to this cause it wasn't the first time, she was always the one anyone would call when I would black out.

"Good morning Ocean." She said swinging the curtains open and the sun was bright, shining directly on my face. I squenched my eyes and put my hand on my head.

"Oh my god, please shut it." I said sneaking back under the blankets and covering my head.

"Guess what Ocean?"

"What?"

"There's no drugs, or alcohol here. And I have something to talk to you about."

"Yeah that sucks, now I have to stay sober until I can escape out of here right? You don't got cigarettes? Nothing?"

"Nothing, Ocean. Just listen to me for a few minutes, okay? I was able to get in contact with your dad." I paused and poked my head out the cover and looked at her, all of a sudden the sun didn't bother me anymore.

"For what? Are you kidding me?"

"No I'm not, he wants to meet you. You know it's been a long while since I've last was even able to get contact from him."

"Well, I'm good." I said turning around and putting the cover back over my head.

"Why?"

"I don't need a sob story from my rich white father and his perfect wife and daughter. He wasn't there when I was being abused and raped by my mom and her dealers."

"Can you just try, please? I can help you get ready, I'll bring you. Just go to his house for dinner, try it out."

"Carla, please." I said and she sighed, and I heard the sounds of a bag opening up and I slowly turned back around. I loved Carla cause she's been the nicest counselor I had, she tries more than I do and puts in way more effort than I wanna even try. "Alright, I guess but I'm not staying long."

"Thank you." She said and I sat up and shook my head. I didn't wanna do any of this, but I wanted to do this for Carla.

"You're welcome. What do I get for doing this?"

"Anything you want that's legal, and healthy."

"Forget it." She gave me that look and I laughed as she passed me a towel and the bag of new clothes. "Okay, okay." I got up and made my way to the bathroom, I looked in the mirror, something I haven't done in a while cause everytime I seen myself I was disgusted.

My wild, course hair that was all over the place, that I barely ever cared to do. Usually I would just throw it up in a bun. My skin was a bronze, tan, brown with a few scars and patches of scratches, as well as some bruises. I never found myself pretty, there were rare times I'd actually see my reflection, I tried to avoid it as much as possible. Growing up all I heard was how ugly I was from my mom, never anything else. It sucks that I have no beautiful memory of me and my mother.

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"Are you ready?" Carla said after a two hour drive to the area where all the rich people lived. We pulled up to this big, tall blue house, with a fountain in the front. There were bright and healthy flowers all over the place, green grass, no trash. It was like I was in a foreign world.

"Not really, and I'm going in here sober, is it too late to turn around?"

"It is, go on you'll be fine. Just try it out." She said and I shook my head and got out, walking towards the front door. Before I could knock someone answered it, a tall white man in a suit, with brown hair and nice blue eyes. He looked like one of those business people you see running around New York like a chicken with their head cut off, high on caffeine and stressing about being late to meetings.

"Hi, I'm Ocean. I'm looking for-" Before I could get anything else out, he hugged me. It felt weird to have someone hug me, I couldn't tell if it was real or not. "I'm guessing you're my dad."

"I am. How are you? I'm sorry about-"

"Save it. I don't want the excuses." I said and he moved out the way and let me in and walked behind me.

"Okay, if you don't want to hear what I have to say that's fine."

"Alright." I said stopping and looking around the whole house. Everything was so new, and expensive. He was living such a wonderful life, something so opposite of mine. He just seemed so happy, the more I walked in the house, I seen people. A maid, a girl around my age, and another woman.

"You must be Ocean. Nice to meet you, I'm Lisa." She said shaking my hand and I just looked at her. She was a tall, skinny woman with long blonde hair, and she looked like she belonged on a magazine. The other girl looked just like her, I was guessing they were mother and daughter.

"Lisa's my wife. And this is your sister Christy." They both looked at me like they never seen someone that's looked like me, which they probably haven't, they wouldn't last five minutes in my neighborhood.

"Nice to meet you." Christy said and sat down at the table with her phone, and I sat down across from her.

"So how's school?" My dad said as he took his seat.

"I haven't been going. Don't ask."

"You're 17 now right?"

"Yup. I'll be 18 soon."

"I just turned 18 last week. Guess we know where our dad's head was 18 years ago." Christy said still looking at her phone, and both my dad and Lisa looked over at her, giving her the evil eye. But, I guess she was right, my dad was cheating on Lisa multiple women including my mom, I know he didn't expect me to come out of it. It seems like they were trying so hard to put on a perfect show, but I can see right through them.

"So why don't you go to school? It's your last year. I'm sorry to ask but really." Christy said putting her phone down and looking straight at me. A part of me was being held back, I was trying my hardest not to go off on her after that.

"I don't exactly come from the home you come from. Yeah we share a dad, but I'm not lavishly living. He's been around you since you were born. I had zero gaurdians unless you want me to count my addict mother."

"It's not that hard to get to school, there's all the buses and subways in New York. You just don't wanna go, cause maybe you're just like your mom. Or just like our dad, sleeping around and making babies all around New York."

"I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but I have my reasons why I don't go. And you know what, I am just like my mom. A worthless, drug addict who doesn't live for anything else but drugs. As for my dad, I don't know, you would know about him more than I do. But my life is my fucking business, you don't know shit about me you prissy ass bitch, you were born with the golden spoon stuck up your fucking ass so don't you dare try and tell me anything." I said getting up and walking away from the table, her face was in shock and so was everyone else's at the table. "Don't make me regret walking away and not slapping the last bit of sense in that mind of yours."

"Ocean, wait." My dad said getting up and following after me.

"No, save it! I didn't wanna come here from the start, and I don't have to deal with a bitch coming at me sideways that I don't even know, whether you claim this is my sister or not! You don't deserve the title 'dad' in the first place." I said slamming the door and walking out the house.

"Let me help you Ocean! Let me give you the life I couldn't, get you off the drugs!"

"I don't need your help!" I yelled and walked away, and kept walking until I was down at the end of the driveway. I didn't see Carla's car anywhere in sight so I just walked, I was ready for my high, I was ready to just get to my usual routine, because this life wasn't for me, and I wasn't for them either.