Chords

Act One

"And now our act for tonight, the band White Noise."

The stage lights switch on and heads turn. I skid across the stage to Ptolemy, still not ready for anything to start. My nerves shudder throughout my entire body as I panic to spit anything out.

Ptolemy dodges my literal spit. "Watch it, we're not even a minute in and you're a wreck."

"I don't even know what we're playing!" I say.

He glares. "You were there when we said it! You're the one who made half of it up!"

"I - I don't remember it, just -" I cut myself off in frustration before shaking my head. "Just tell me what we're doing right now."

"We're starting up with a cover just to catch attention -"

Binny starts tapping at her kit, already starting the song. Ptolemy hurriedly starts his part not even ten seconds later. It clicks in my mind what we're doing as soon as those notes hit. Summertime. I grip my instrument with a little more confidence now and start playing. Tai finally joins in last.

"When the lights go off, will you take me with you . . . "

Looking out, I can see the crowd beyond the stage is already occupied with one another and food. They all sit at their tables, blowing off the first day of summer with fries and drinks. I guess that means whether we're actually good or not doesn't matter as much for the moment, but for some reason I still want to do everything I can.

"And carry all this broken bone, through six years down in crowded rooms and highways I call home Something I can't know 'til now -"

My fingers glide over the strings, picking at the sound every other moment. I'm actually enjoying myself for once while doing this. I'm not as much of a nervous wreck anymore. The music progresses and it's my cue to take over and have everyone else quiet down.

I skirt up front, focusing solely on keeping my hands steady as I start the short solo. My eyes are trained straight down and I'm oblivious to if anyone's even watching.

That was my bad. Suddenly the floor is gone and I look up just in time to see an entire right leg off the edge of the stage.

The audience is watching, but a particular round set of black eyes stare up at me. I knew the opposite gender would be here tonight, but I wasn't aware there would be pretty ones - so I definitely have an excuse for what I do next. 

I pull a crooked smile - and for some reason this girl doesn't recoil in horror. She actually beams back. We're only facing each other for a second before I realize I'm still halfway off the stage and about to fall on my face. Kicking my dangling foot back over, I swerve clumsily back around and bang the final chord to finish off the song.

Luckily there's clapping after that. There's a pause on stage before Tai briefly goes to Binny and mutters some things to her. It's most likely a double check on our next song. For that quiet moment, Ptolemy  comes over with a grin. 

"Dude, did you almost fall?" He snickers.

"No, I was uh -" I glance back at the audience, "Just trying to catch their attention."

His blue eyes flick to the girl briefly. "Looks like it worked." He says before walking. "C'mon, I think we're doing one of ours next."

I nod and get away from the edge of the stage to follow. Tai leaves Binny to go back to his position. He politely taps the mic as he stands alone up front. 

"We're gonna do some of our own stuff for the rest of the night." He says. "Watch out, I can get a teensy loud."

Understatement. Our band's main focus is alternative rock. There's no way to summarize what those next forty-five minutes were like other than saying it was probably the rawest thing Chewie's will experience this summer. But the crowd didn't object to it, as it's mostly teenagers. People get up from their seats to get closer and enjoy.

I'm sweating buckets and I'm back up front leading guitar. We're jumping and yelling and my heart's beating in my throat. I feel so energetic, I feel . . . 

I feel weird again. It's the daisy question, it's the parlor . . . I can't feel myself.

And it's really freaking me out. I can't have another gap like before, I'm in the middle of something important. Trying my best to pull it together, I turn from the audience and keep playing. I don't know what's triggering these weird blanks, but I know I'm around people every time. Maybe if I close my eyes for a second and calm down I can prevent anything from happening.

I guess I forgot to keep playing while I stand there with my eyes closed and swivel on my feet. Eventually I'm noticed.

Ptolemy's hand repeatedly smacks against my arm. "You okay?!" He yells over the noise.

I still keep my eyes closed. "Yeah, yeah just trying to fight it." 

He squints at me. "What?" 

I open my eyes again and take a breath. "I'll tell you later, just . . . hit me every few minutes."

Ptolemy worriedly nods and we continue for awhile longer before Tai thanks the crowd and Anne draws the curtains. The band sits on the covered up and dim stage. Water bottles are given and I plop down on the floor to take a breather.

Ptolemy sits beside me with his water. "What was going on earlier?"

"It's weird stuff that's been happening lately." I say, focusing on prying the lid off my own bottle.

"Like what?"

I hesitate. "Y'know what, I shouldn't have said anything, I don't know what it is."

He snatches my water bottle and easily cracks it open. "What?" He asks more serious.

I reach for it. "I dunno, I've been having memory gaps. I thought I was passing out, but when it happened earlier at the parlor you guys said I was still talking."

Ptolemy lowers the water. "That's why you couldn't remember what you wanted to play."

"Mmhmm. I mean I forget stuff, but not like that." I take the water bottle back at last to drink. "That's not regular memory loss."

"Well what makes it happen?" He frowns.

"Um . . . first time was during exams. Second was in that parlor. Almost a third time on stage."

Ptolemy pauses to think. "Alright. Then we'll make it happen on purpose next time."

My brows furrow in confusion. With the look on my face, Ptolemy explains. 

"We'll find out whatever is causing this, and just stop it. What can go wrong?"

I shift uncomfortably. "Every time somebody says that, something goes wrong. Especially with you."

He's about to object, mouth halfway open. I give him a look and he gives one back. "I'm figuring this out whether you like it or not."