Chords

Out

Sorry if this is significantly shorter than other chapters.

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My mother won't stop cramming extra snacks and papers with her phone number on it into my duffel bag. I sigh in defeat.

"Y'know, if this is stressing you out too much I just won't go." I say.

"No, no, you're excited about this." She insists as she puts in yet another fruit snack. "You're going."

"Then could you save some food for yourself?" I joke.

She tugs the zipper up, somehow closing the overflowing side pocket. "Fine, fine."

A door creaks open, "Chloe?"

My mother looks up and another man comes in. No, not my dad. Mine's been gone for awhile. This other man walks over to my mother, grasping her ringed hand in his. He swings their arms back and forth together.

"I think the car's making that weird sound again." He admits sheepishly.

Yeah, my mom's more of a handyman than the actual man of the house. She just shakes her head and pecks his lips. "Be there in a second, Matt."

He swings their arms back and forth for another beat before letting go and disappearing into the garage. My mother sighs before looking back me. I smirk. "It's cool, I have enough fruit snacks."

She pats my arm and goes after Matt. I don't really care if she's always with him - I mean they're married. And he's a much better guy than my dad was. He's been gone maybe four years now. He was taken away when I was eleven after being caught for abuse.

I didn't have it so bad, it was mostly on my mom. While I turned out alright aside from the occasional anxiety, my mom's still rough in some areas. I've seen her flinch at touch more often than not. Only me and sometimes Matt get genuine touch and affection, and even that took us a few years. Lots of other things bother her, too. Loud noises make her heart race, enough to make her skittish for a few hours. Yelling and alcohol makes her leave the room. Small spaces set her on edge and being alone with someone she hasn't known for years makes her skin crawl.

She's recovering though. She could've gone down worse paths, but she ended up with a goober like Matt. Things are a lot better now that he's around to care for her . . . and vise versa. I can safely go away for a week without worrying about anyone. I finish packing my bag just as Mary's van pulls up front and honks. I hurry to throw everything over my shoulder.

"Bye mom, bye Matt!" I call and go for the door.

I can't escape my mom rushing in to stop me for a goodbye. She hugs me tight and demands that I have a good time before sending me outside.

I trek down the lawn towards the black van. The side door swings open and I throw myself in to land right beside Ptolemy. He slams the door shut.

"Didn't fall asleep waiting for us?" He asks.

"Nah. Is everybody else here?" I look around.

"Yep." Binny's head pops around the passenger seat.

"Let's get this on the road!" Mary announces from the driver's seat.

"I'm hungry." Tai says from the back.

Mary sighs exasperated. "Okay, to The Square, then the road."

Ten minutes later, we all sit contently with some burgers and fries. Tai seems satisfied with his veggie burger and fries as well - they keep him silent for now.

We're driving for awhile from there, all talking and constantly changing the radio station. Eventually Ptolemy corners me on the subject of the other night at Chewie's.

"So I have an idea of how to trigger that thing you have goin' on." He says past a mouthful of meat, "We just gotta recreate what was happening one of the times you talked about." He swallows.

"Fair enough, but . . ." But I get cold feet. I stammer. "Y'know what, I-I don't think this is a good idea."

"We're on the road, you can't embarrass or hurt yourself for miles." He crams an overflowing mouthful in.

He has a point . . . and I do want to figure this thing out before I'm busy with Illinois. The last thing I want is to not remember my audition - or worse, the experience all together. I give in. "Alright, how do you think we'll do that?"

"Mmmh." Ptolemy takes a moment to chew the underestimated bite. "Hmm. You said it happened while you were taking some stupid plant test?"

"Yeah?" 

He gulps at last. "Oi, Binny, can I see your perfume?" He calls ahead.

"Don't do anything weird with it." She answers and tosses a violet bottle back.

Ptolemy catches it and turns to spray it in my face. I cough and grimace. It wreaks worse than a flourist. "Augh!"

"Huh." He's almost disappointed. "I expected something different to happen."

"Like what?" I blink, tears forming.

Awkward silence settles. "I dunno actually, just not that. Lemme try again." He keeps spraying.

I cover my face, gagging at the overpowering stench of flowers. "Ack, stop!" 

"What, did some get in your mouth?"

I groan and peak between my fingers. "I was right, this wasn't a good id-"

The van around me suddenly smears and goes black, completely cutting me off. I don't remember anything further than the middle of that sentence.

A call bell dings me back into reality. I flinch and suddenly it's early morning in a booth full of a hotel complimentary breakfast. Everybody from the van is there. . . they're all staring me down.

It takes me a few seconds to realize my hands are up and my mouth is open, as if in the middle of a sentence. I close it and lower my hands with frown.

"Uh." I continue to press the corners of my mouth down, confused.

"Jess?" Mary asks.

My eyes dart over to her and the rest of the group who watch me carefully.

"Y . . . yeah." An uncertain nod. "Who else would it be?"

They all murmur to each other briefly - I catch the name Haley in the short exchange, confusing me further. I wait impatiently before Ptolemy can turn to answer me.

"You were an entirely different person."