Wishing for Rain

Chapter 15

My heart pounds in anticipation. The ending of the movie turning hazy. I don't know the difference between silence and the credits. All I know is I am on a date---with Wess. I didn't exactly tell mama I was going on a date. Also I am going out with a sophomore, which would set her off. So what? I told her I was hanging out with a friend. And she knows I need as many as I can get. Since it is such a rare occurrence. I roll my eyes internally.

"Rain?" he asks me, snapping me out of my haze. "You coming?" he escorts me out the theater. My heart beat hasn't slowed since I arrived at the entrance.

We sit down on a park bench nearby, in an awkward silence. "So," he pauses, "Do you have any siblings?" Oh, this conversation.

"Three little sisters." I hesitate, not wanting to list off all of their names and then tell the story behind each one. My mama had me when she was sixteen, my dad was eighteen. I don't usually like to talk about how old my mama is. She is only thirty one now. Four months ago, I found a pregnancy test when I was looking for something I had dropped in her trash can. I've been kind of nervous about it since then. You can't just keep coming up with seasons, that's not how it works. And---if she ever had twins--I can't think about that. I shutter at the thought.

"Wow," he exclaims. I watch him intently. Eye contact is important...mama always said so. But he looks straight forwards when he talks, only occasionally glancing at me. "I'm an only child." he says bluntly. After slight hesitation he adds, "I had a little sister." oh gosh. That's so horrible. I can't even fathom losing one of my sisters. Even though I don't like them most of the time, I love them.

Instead of speaking, I act on impulse, not thinking clearly. I take his hand in mine. I don't know why I did it, or what I am doing but I continue to---for about one millisecond, until he jerks it back. "I think I may have given you the wrong impression," he tells me, looking mortified.

"So we're not on a date?" I laugh uncomfortably, my heart cracking at his words.

"I just thought we could," he holds up his hands as quotation marks, "Go out," he lowers his hands. "Like friends do. I just thought you'd be a cool friends." I cringe at his words. It's not like I have real feelings for him, but I still didn't want my first date to turn out not to be a date at all.

"I'm going to go home, thanks for hanging out with me." I turn my head away from him, and stand up, fighting an army of tears.

"You don't have to leave, Rain." he explains.

"I do. My mom will want me home soon anyways." And with that, I walk away. Unsure of what I will tell mama when she sees my face, unsure of what I'll tell Cam, and unsure of how I feel. All I know is I need to leave.