I am woken up by Mark getting up. I glance at the clock. 2:30 AM. "Mark." I hiss and he squeaks in fear. "What's wrong it's early." I squint in the dark to see my best friend and crush. "Mark." I touch his wrist to feel him trembling. "Mark!" I sit up and pull him towards my body. He cries softly into my shoulder, hands clenching my muscle tank. I run his back gently, moving his hood out my way. Mark is insecure about himself so he sleeps in a hoodie, shirt, and sweats. I usually sleep in a muscle tank and boxers- sometimes shorts.
"You're okay. Shh.." I whisper softly and hold him tighter. Mark always had a nightmare problem. I'm used to it. I comb my fingers through his red locks of soft hair and soothe him. "J-Jackson." He cries and grabs onto me tighter, scratching my skin hard. I grit my teeth in pain and hold him protectively. "Mark, I'm here. I'm not leaving." I whisper quietly in the dark. I slip my hand under his hoodie to take it off cause he seems warm when I feel skin not his shirt. I feel heat crawl up my face and I retreat my hand.
"Sorry." I whisper and he shakes his head, pulling it off. He holds onto me and lulls into sleep. I smile softly. "Goodnight." I say quietly and look outside. It's hard. It's hard to be gay sometimes. Hard to fall for your best friend when he's only looking for girls. I feel he's at least Bisexual. Mark has always seem me as a friend. Nothing more. Yeah, I guess it hurts. But that's life.
Mark can be with who he likes. If he's happy- I'm happy.
••
I wake up again to Mark gently trying to wriggle out of my arms. "What time is it?" I mumble and he freezes. "It's early, Jackson. Go back to sleep." I nuzzle in his neck to be closer. "Stay with me." I plead, I don't want to be alone. "Jackson, I have to shower." He reasons with me and I make a noise of disapproval. "If you don't let me up and go back asleep, I'm never cuddling with you again." I move back and let him go. He chuckles and I prepare to fall back asleep. I hear him shuffling gently, trying to not wake me up.
Mark hisses when he makes a loud noise and I flinch. "Shit." He whispers and I hear soft footsteps approach slowly. Sleep starts to lull over me as I feel pressure on my temple and hot wind in my hair.
Mark.
He just kissed my temple.
With that thought and a soft smile, I fall asleep.
