While You Where Sleeping

Chapter 6

Wow. I think as I lay in bed that night. Wow. So I kissed one boy and had one of the best days of my life with another boy. I love Rylan. I... Um... think I might like Eric. Oh no. No. Not one of those cliche love triangles. Rylan's been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I met Eric yesterday. Eric likes me, that's obvious. He called me it and confirmed that I'm pretty. He just has that smile that tells me he likes me. I can just tell.

If I like/date Eric I would be basically betraying Rylan. But... what if... (I can't believe this thought is crossing my mind but). What if Rylan never wakes up? Then I would kind of be free to be with Eric. 

What? Sunny! That's the most selfish thought you have ever had! That's basically wishing that Rylan die, so that you can be with Eric! 

I feel a few tears trickle down my cheeks. I'm so ashamed of myself. I can't even fathom how terrible I am. How could I? If Rylan DOES... die. Then part of me dies with him. I know that. I've always known that. Why did it slip my mind all of the sudden? 

I finally fall asleep and dream. In my dream I see Rylan and Eric. Eric is at the clearing and Rylan is in the back field.

"You are my Sunshine." Rylan says.

"You're pretty Blondie." Eric says.

I finally speak after looking back and forth between the two.

"I...I...I love..." I stutter.

Then I wake with a start.

"Eric... Rylan..." I whisper.

I sit up in bed and pull on a jacket and slip into my shoes. Then I take off to the field. Running. The moon and stars my only light. When I reach our spot I do something I swore I'd never do. I use all the strength I have to push the bale away a few inches. There it is buried so that just the lid shows. The time capsule Rylan and I made when we were six. I pull it out and brush the dirt off. It complains with a squeak as the lid swings open.

Then I see all of the treasures we placed in it. A few glass beads we found on the woods. A fetching feathers from an arrow. An empty shot gun shell. Some dried flowers. A fishing lure. Some pictures. Of us covered in mud, archery with my dad, fishing with his dad, butterfly chases with Nancy, and lastly...us from behind sitting, arms around shoulders, watching the sun.

I realize the tears streaming down my cheeks. I place it all neatly back into the box. I push it back into the hole. I kiss my hand and press it to the box.  

My mind races back to all those years packed full of memories.

"I still love you." I whisper. Somehow hoping Rylan can hear me.

Then I realize how exhausted I am. Somehow I wind up falling asleep right there by the bale of hay. 

🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆

I wake to the voice of my mother. Yelling my name. I never even thought to tell her I was going somewhere.

"Sunflower!" Mom yells. She can see me up the hill. She's standing on the porch with her hands on her hips.

"Coming Mom." I respond.

I stand up stiff and sore. I push as hard as I can and roll the bale back in place. Then take off down the hill.

"Sunflower Hallark!" She scolds. "What were you doing?!"

"I'm sorry Mom I just... needed to." I say as I wrap my arms around her. "I'm sorry."

She sighs "I know. It's okay."

🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆

I go inside, get dressed, braid my hair, brush my teeth, grab my pack, and head out hoping to meet Eric. I tell Mom I'm going for a run. 

I do I run. I run almost the entire two miles. There he is. Sitting on his ATV.

"Figured you might stop by." He says.

"Look we need to talk."