Just This Once | H.S

Chapter Twelve

H A R R Y

My hands fumbled as I unlocked the cabinet. I couldn't seem to function my hands properly because of the anger I was feeling but I didn't know why I felt this rage. Was it because Blake was right? We were rushing things and whatever this connection between us was needed to stop. I knew she was right but with all the stress I was feeling from work, I needed a release. After managing to unlock the cabinet, I grabbed the nearest alcoholic beverage and pressed it to my lips. I relished at the burning sensation that was present in my throat and continued to chug the drink. I felt my eyes getting droopy but I fought through the fatigue, grabbing another bottle. This particular bottle had a cork stopper so I rummaged through the drawers looking for the bottle opener but couldn't find it. I texted Blake for some reason, asking her about the whereabouts of the cork screw. My eyes scanned the room and I noticed the opener on a counter nearby so I quickly texted Black, informing her that I found it. I unscrewed the wine bottle and poured myself a glass. The familiar burning sensation put my mind at ease but I needed it to be stronger. I didn't want to feel anything. As I poured myself another drink, the glass slipped from my hand and shattered into the floor. Cursing loudly, I dumbly went to pick up the shards and ended up slicing my hand open. My mouth gaped at the blood that started gush out of the wound. I stared at the cut and watched as the Crimson blood covered my hand. My mind began to work again and I started to slam through the drawers in hopes of finding a first aid kit. For some reason, I forgot about the glass that still lay on the floor and I clumsily stepped on it, resulting in me crashing to the floor with a big thud. Tears started to well up in my eyes as I propped up against the kitchen wall. I took deep breaths as a way to calm myself but the tears quickly fell from my eyes and abolished any hopes of serenity. I wiped away the tears that stained my cheeks and I caught the flash of my phone which lay a few meters away from me so I began to crawl towards it. I texted Blake, telling her about my unfortunate mishap, hoping that someone would care about me. I leaned back in my hands, accidentally placing all my pressure into my cut hand and I cursed loudly again. Pulling myself off the floor, I trudged my way to the bathroom so I could wash off the remainder of the blood that lay on my hands. I glanced back and noticed the trail of bloody footprints that I was leaving but I didn't care. The wounds were bleeding pretty badly still, probably because of how deep the cut was. I was still shocked at how clumsy I happened to be. Harry Styles isn't as calm and collected as everyone thought he would be, I guess. I rinsed my hands in the sink and stared up at the reflection in the mirror. My eyes were puffy from crying and there were dark circles under them from the lack of sleep. Deciding that a shower would be a good idea, I peeled off my clothes and stepped into the shower, putting the water on the hottest temperature. I hissed as the water burned at my skin but I slowly got used to it. My thoughts clouded my brain again and the alcohol was messing with my emotions. I felt tears well up again and I decided to let them do their damage, I didn't care anymore. I cried until there were no tears left. All of the pain and other emotions that I had been holding back all these years were finally catching up with me. Being drunk didn't help either, my emotions were heightened and I was slobbery mess. As I lathered the shampoo in my hair I heard a knock at the door.

"Come in!" I yelled, not caring whether whoever was on the other side saw me naked or not.

"No thanks. Harry, please open door." Blake's voice carried through the closed door.

"It's unlocked," I wasn't sure if she heard but the door opened so I'm guessing she did. "Can you pass me a towel?" I asked as I shut off the water and poked my head out from behind the shower curtain. The first thing I saw was the exasperation and worry on Blake's face. I muttered a "thank you" as I wrapped the towel around my lower body and stepped out of the shower.

"Harry, what the hell happened? I wasn't gone for long and I come back to shattered glass and bloody footprints." Blake made me sit on the counter as she mended the gash on my hand with gauze.

"I don't know, I'm just really clumsy," I smiled sheepishly, the alcohol still having an affect on me. Blake's wide eyes met mine and I grinned at her but she didn't smile back. She directed her attention back to my wound and continued to wrap it.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked her softly, my voice barely above a whisper. Blake paused for a second and turned away. I placed a finger on her chin and turned her head so that she was looking at me again.

"Honestly? I don't know." She sighed heavily, as if there was a battle going on inside of her. She finished bandaging all of my wounds and helped me off of the counter. Blake guided me to my room and somehow knew where I kept my clothes because she threw a pair of boxers and a t-shirt at me. I pulled on the clothes and fell onto my bed. As I stared up at my ceiling, I felt a wave of emotions hit me again. Soon enough, tears were rolling down my cheeks and Blake was at my side.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

"Stop it!" I yelled at her, pushing her away from me and walking to the other side of the room.

"Stop what? What am I doing?" Blake was confused, and so was I. Why was I getting so riled up? I blamed it on the alcohol and decided to finish what I started.

"Stop acting like you care about me." I choked back the tears that were continually streaming down my face. Blake was silent for a second and it was so silent that you could hear a pin drop. I didn't dare face Blake, rather she moved so that she was in front of me and gave me an icy state which I returned.

"Just st-" My sentence was cut off by Blake suddenly reaching up and pulling me into a kiss. The kiss was simple and short but I wished it lasted longer.

"You never shut up, do you?" She whispered causing me to chuckle. Blake grasped my hand and pulled me onto the bed. Soon enough I had my arm wrapped around her while she daintily traced the tattoos on my upper arm. We lay like that for a while, both of us lost in our thoughts.

"What are you doing to me?" I asked, my voice barely about a whisper. Blake paused for a second, contemplating what to say.

"And what exactly am I doing to you?" She questioned causing me to look away from her beautiful eyes because I knew that she'd be able to know exactly how I was feeling once she looked into my own.

"I don't know how I feel when I'm with you. You frustrate me but you also excite me. I try to distance myself and pretend that this isn't wrong at all but you ruin all of that. Everything about you screams simplicity and I'm in love with it. You're so elegant with everything you do and you don't even try. I don't even think you know how graceful you are. You always put up a fight and no matter how annoying you are, there's always a smile on my face when I think of you. Even on your worst days, I see the best in you." My long speech came to an end when Blake shushed me. Looking over to her, I noticed the pink tint in her cheeks and the slight quiver of her bottom lip as she tried not to spill into tears. I propped myself onto my elbow and rubbed away the tear that had slipped away.

"Why are you crying, kitten? Did I say something wrong?" I cursed at myself mentally, I always ruined everything.

"No Harry, not at all. Drunk or not, that's the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever said to me. I'm not acting that I care about you, I genuinely do. You're the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing when I go to sleep. Don't you dare say that I don't care about you. I wouldn't have left Stella suddenly and came back here to help you." I dipped my head down to meet her gaze and I looked for any signs of distrust or mockery. I saw none.

"Do you really mean that?" I asked, scared of the answer.

"Yes, I mean all of it." That was all I needed to hear as I dipped my head down and greeted Blake with a soft and tender kiss.

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I'm back, did ya miss me :)))