My M8s; the Seaquel

Sea CuCUMber

I woke up to my alarm going off and I smiled. What a great day to get some dick.
Hi. I'm Kylo. I've always had a sort of erotic fantasy of being radished by multiplying men. But my main fettish was Jacob Black, the super smexy wherewolf from Twilit. He's so hawt ;)
I have purple hair with fluorescent green after color. My teeth are all filed to points and my ears are pointy. My dick is like five oceans long. I've always been really good at geolometry. I got out of bed and went over to my closet. I pulled out bright blue leather pants and a sequin purple top that lights up. My shoes are chocos that glow in the dark. I put on my elbow length yellow gloves and my Mardi Gras beads. I was the fashionista of the sküle. You could say that I was in charge of all the hot fashion trends. I pulled Lacey socks over my chocos witch went over my toes. My purple eyes flashed rainbow when I saw my reflection. I am so totally hot. I would do myself. What if I had seven other twins and one that was really ugly and had a speech impediment and his name was cylo and we had a tensone with an attractive dumbass who's name sounded like ours. Wouldn't that be wild? It's a shame I don't have that. A car honked outside. That must be Ritz. He was my bestest friend. He has a greatx50 grandfather named Grahm. We go way back. He's also my lover. I got in the car and grabbed his cock.
"Kylo, put Jacob down!" Ritz shouted as he swerved. I put the rooster down. Apparently it was a family airloom.
"Sorry, he's just so cute!" I threw him out the window. I had what you could call a special soul connection with Jacob. I feel like he's been thrown out a lot of Windows in his lifetime.
"Do you wanna ditch first hour and go to the Bus Stop for breakfast?" I asked Ritz. He smiled and floored it. He ran like seven red lights and a police officer was behind us, but I threw Jacob out the window to slow him down. We made it to the Bus Stop in 2.5 light years. We went in and an old woman came up to us.
"The name's Estelle."
She sounded like she had been smoking for at least 5 billion years.
"Where would you two like to sit?" She held two menus in her hands and we pointed at a corner booth.
"Follow me. You two aren't skippin sküle today, are you?" She asked us as she put the menus down on the table.
"And what if we were?" I sasses. I don't have time for old women.
"Then I'd tell you, you're just like Kylie. She was a little hoe." She replied. I didn't know who TF Kylie was. This woman was probably just sea Niall.
"I want waffles," I told her and she rolled her eyes.
"We don't have waffles-"
"Estelle! I've got your waffles!"
I narrowed my I's at her. "You totally have waffles."
"You're right. I have waffles... But they aren't for you. We sell waffles."
"But I want waffles."
"Hon. Has anyone ever told you that life is hard? Sometimes your dead beat husband gets hit by a plane and your son dies and Johnny Depp's hair-"
"Who's Johnny Depp?"
"You should've been aborted. You are the cancer of this generation."
"What's cancer?" I asked.
Ritz cut into the conversation. "Can I have two eggs. Sunny side up?" He asked.
"Sure thing, doll face. You remind me of Jimmy. He was a good thing. Your friend reminds me of Richard. I always hated him. He was such a pain in the ass. Til he got hit by a plane. That was a god send." She took our menus and left without taking my order. I was annoyed.
"What a hoe?" I said annoyingly.
"You're a hoe," Ritz replied, slapping my shoulder. I only had one shoulder.
Suddenly, Hello by Adele started playing over the radio. What's a radio?
"I love this song!" Ritz screamed at me, even though no one else was here and the music wasn't that loud.
We danced.
I don't think I've explained my love for Ritz. Even though his cherry red, frizzy hair makes him look like Elmo and his eyes are the color of bile, I knew Ritz was the one for me. I knew we would be together forever.
Just then a really hot guy walked in, and I shoved Ritz off of me.
"Hi," I walked up to the guy. Then he disappeared.
"Here's your food," Estelle put a plate in front of Ritz as I sat back down beside him.
"We should probably go to sküle soon," I say, jealous of the sausage that Ritz has dangling from his mouth. "We've been gone for 12 hours."
"Oh no!" Ritz looks at his watch. "I missed my mom's funeral."
"Who is your mom?"
"I don't know. Some bitch."
"Lol"
We went home. I grabbed some Ritz out of the cabinet and squirted some cheese on them. After devouring three boxes, I devoured Ritz's dick. Jk. I already did that a long time ago.
Does it make me sad that my boyfriend doesn't have a dick anymore? Yes. Am I sad? Yes.
But do I regret eating that bomb ass dick? No. I secretly saved some of the tip in my anus. But I won't tell Ritz that.
I pull out my iPhone 666 and call my dad. His name is lucifer and apparently a few years ago he was top dog of hell. Then some purple-eyed bitch kicked him out and took control.
"Hi daddy" I say. He's the original daddy. The OD.
"Who is this?" A woman's voice said.
"This is Kylo."
"Oh, your lucifer's son. Hold on."
I waited as the woman put me on hold. Daddy got a new secretary every week. His dick is too bomb I guess.
"Son," Lucifer's voice came from the other end. "I was just meaning to call you." There were what sounded like gun shots in the background.
"What daddy? What's going on?"
"I don't have much time. You're the moon goddess."
"What? Daddy what-?"
The line clicked off and the phone started beeping. What's a phone?