tinder hearts

{ four }

❝ but.. having you close + thinking about how my answers might make you distant = too much for me to handle + i can never think of the right way to say any of this. while we’re together, every scenario i imagine = scaring you off. ❞ - i can’t tell you, hillary frank

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his heartbreak is getting too strong - too strong to the point where he no longer sees the present, and only sees the past. his past with her.

he sees her platinum blonde hair tied up in a skinny braid; he sees her picking at the end of it. he sees her walking the sidewalks of still park, him slowly trailing behind just to admire how happy she is. he sees her, her, her. nothing else.

his efforts to get out of bed are minimal, almost nonexistent. his blinds are shut, his lights are off, his door is locked. the hours of how much sleep he gets decrease by the day. he tears at his hair, frustrated with himself because, why can't he just forget about her? why does she still have to be on his mind? he spends his nights painting her, writing about her, remembering, thinking.

thinking, was i just not good enough?

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her heartbreak is ruining her. she tries to go out, she tries to have fun, she tries to forget. but she can't. she won't let herself,

because, i don't want to forget how he made me feel. and to her, forgetting him means forgetting everything about not only him, but herself, also. 

her days are forced happiness, her nights are restless. she sleeps, yes. but when she sleeps, the memories come to her in dreams, fragments, nightmares. they're such beautiful memoirs of a time she wishes, longs, to go back to. and they scare her because she's not sure if she'll ever make memories like those again.

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a/n: dedicated to littlemissbelieve because she made my day, and her talent, omg.