The car door flung open and Karen stumbled out onto the sidewalk, still waiting for the two shots of espresso to breathe clarity into her clouded mind. The sun pierced through her darkest sunglasses and her hand flew to her temple as she began to fall forward. Jimi's hand wrapped around her waist, pulled her close to him, and steadied her just before she lost balance.
"Another migraine?" he asked with a concerned look.
"Shouldn't be. I took an extra pill this morning. I think I just need another coffee." She pressed her hand against his, still wrapped around her waist.
"There should be some in the dressing room. They always have great coffee here."
"They have great everything here." She flashed him a tiny smile as they walked arm in arm into the back entrance of the Opry.
Jimi knew this day would be difficult on his wife, so they had arrived way ahead of schedule and were the first artists to arrive at all even though they would be closing the show. This way they could settle into their dressing room without the stress of any possible awkward conversations in the hallway. He would do anything within his power to make this as painless for Karen as possible.
"Yum, you were right!" Karen said in a tone much cheerier than she felt. She took a sparkling gold mug from the coffee bar and slowly filled it to the brim with dark, columbian roast. The rich aroma filled the spacious dressing room and hallway too. She poured a second mug for Jimi and they sat together on the black velvet couch in silence. Through the steam rising up from her mug, she caught him watching her.
"I really am okay," she said, trying to convince the both of them. Jimi nodded compliantly, but didn't break his gaze.
"I'm happy that we came," she tried again. This time earning a response.
"So am I," Jimi agreed, "but I don't want us to have to pretend everything is perfectly fine. Because it isn't."
Karen dropped her eyes.
"Just for today," she said softly. "Just for today I need to pretend that it is okay." She slowly met his eyes again. "Its the only way I'll make it through." Jimi nodded. He understood.
There was a loud knock at the door, which had been kept closed since they first arrived. Kimberly poked her head in.
"Oh, you're already here! I've been trying to call y'all all morning! We didn't know what was happening with the show."
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Karen spat out, "My phone has been on silent. Yes, we're here. We said we'd be here, so here we are." She offered a smile as she stood to greet her best friend. Kimberly pulled Karen into a hug, and Jimi slipped out the door.
"Is Phillip with you?"
"He called to say he was stuck in a smidge of traffiic, but he shouldn't be too long."
"Oh I see," Karen barely had time to respond before she was pulled into a second, tighter embrace.
"I'm surprised that you want to do this," Kimberly admitted into her friend's hair.
"Of course I do," Karen said pulling back. "I really am okay."
Communication is funny between close friends. Words are rarely needed to convey the most emotional of messages, and all it took was one look for Kim to know that Karen was definitely not alright.
She held her friend by the hand and after a long pause reassured her, "its okay. Its okay if you aren't okay."
Karen stared at the wall, trying to will the tears to leave her tired eyes, and when one slipped away so did all of the strength she had been using to hold herself up. She collapsed into her friend, who was more than willing to catch her.
"...I'm not okay."
