BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
The screeching of the alarm clock pierced through the chilled air in the bedroom and shattered any dreams being had. Karen's eyes flew open, stinging, swollen, and bloodshot.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
The screeching continued incessantly, demanding to be heard. Karen squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the pillow over her head to protect her from the painful sound.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
"6am. How is it already 6am?" She thought to herself between the piercing squalls of the clock.
"Pleeeeease just ten more minutes" she pleaded the clock. She lifted her arm to reach for the snooze button, but let it fall to her side. Her body felt too heavy to move. She burrowed further under her feather pillow as the horrid noise began to make its way deep into the corners of her mind. She felt her muscles tighten and her breathing became rapid and shallow.
"How is it already 6am?"
"Hey, you okay?" Jimi rolled over to face her, his nose nearly brushing hers. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot, the remnants of a sleepless night. She pressed her face into his faded grey t-shirt as it absorbed her silent tears. He wrapped both arms around her waist and squeezed her tight. She found comfort in his tight embrace. Her breathing became slow and deep and she felt centered, as if his arms were literally holding her together.
"No one would blame you if you didn't show up today," he whispered in her ear.
"No, no, I have to go. We need to play this Jimi. Really, we can't do this again. It will be fine. I will be fine." They had just cancelled a show last month because of Jimi's voice. He had been put on complete vocal rest for a week. Seven days was a long time to have to have to read all of her husband's thoughts and messages from a dry erase board, not that she minded of course. He would leave sweet little messages for her to find any time he left the room. It had actually been quite romantic.
"No, really. I think you should stay home." His voice interrupted her wandering thoughts. "We can reschedule the appearance. Its the Opry. People cancel all the time. We can play another night. Yunno... when we feel up to it."
"You're exactly right," she agreed, sitting up. "Its the Opry. The Grand Ole Opry. The Mother Church of Country Music. And we are not cancelling on the mother church. Besides, we are brand new members and we are obligated to play that stage as much as we possibly can."
"But they would understand," he continued.
"No." His wife's shrill tone took him by surprise. "No, they wouldn't understand because no one is going to tell them about this, okay?" Tears reemerged in her tired eyes as she crossed her arms in front of her. "I don't want anyone talking about this Jimi, I mean that."
"Okay, okay, no one will know," he spoke gently as he reached to reassure her. She took his hand in hers.
"I think this could be good for us," she said as she traced tiny circles in the center of his palm. "Stepping onto that stage is like coming home. The people and the energy... I think it could help us heal."
As Jimi watched his wife walk across the bedroom to the closets his heart ached for her. They had been through a lot recently and he knew it was affecting Karen more than she would care to admit. Even the way she walked was different. Her movements used to be so fierce, so precise and unwavering, but now she moved slowly as if questioning every single step. She held her arms close to her as though at any time she might be met with a jab to the torso. Her eyes darted around the room, just waiting for an unpleasant surprise.
When they had first started dating Jimi would have to refrain himself from spontaneously taking her into his arms no matter how badly he wanted to, because Karen had never been a fan of PDA. She would rather partake in an intimate conversation than a bout of hand-holding. She did not want any extra attention from displays of physical affection. She always preferred the focus to be on the music and the band as a group. Jimi always respected her wishes but was once again experiencing the intense desires to wrap her in his arms every time she looked at him. He felt that by holding her tightly he could somehow absorb some of her pain to carry for himself.
