The Pieces He Needs

Chapter seven ↠

"How dare you try to make excuses!" He screams, his body pressing against mine and his face too close for comfort. I could smell his breath, it smelt of strong beer. 

I didn't move a muscle, my heart thumping so loud I could hear it. I knew that if I dared talk, move or shed a single tear there would be hell to pay. I had promised Sam that I would get home at 5:30 to cook dinner, but I had got so caught up with talking to Ben that I had forgotten the time. It was 7:00 when I had arrived home, and it was much too late to make any excuse to why I was late. How could I have not checked the time?

"I'm sorry." I whisper, closing my eyes and waiting for a reaction.

For a second nothing happens, all I can feel is his breath against my face. The next thing I know I'm being kicked in the stomach, the sudden impact causing me to cry out loud in pain and desperately try not to collapse to the ground. He had never hit me like that.

"You're pathetic. I've been counting on you to change; but you haven't. You can't even get here on time to cook dinner you worthless brat!" 

His face is red; he is no longer attractive. I pray desperately that his beautiful face will reappear, but I know I don't deserve it. What I do deserve is another good hit. The first one wasn't hard enough.

"Hit me again." I whisper, closing my eyes and and tightening my fists.

"What?" He questions, shocked by my statement.

"I said" I'm speaking louder now, "Hit me again."

He doesn't say anything, just stares at me in shock and confusion. How did he not understand what I was saying? it was loud and clear.

"Hit me again!" I screamed this time, anger boiling up inside me.

I was so angry at myself. I was worthless, stupid, pathetic, dumb, not worthy of a boyfriend like Sam. Therapy wasn't working, I wasn't doing my jobs at home, nothing was going to fix me. Why was I born like this? Why was I never good enough?

pain rips through my face. My head smacks against the kitchen counter and I tumble to the ground. I can't breath; shock over taking my body. 

I listen as Sam's footsteps become quieter and quieter; and then a loud bang. 

Silence. 

When I was little I would sneak out of bed at night, creep down the hallway and press my ear against the living room door. I would listen to the things my father would say to my mother, the way he would speak about me. How did we manage to give birth to such a dumb child? He would say. I would hear things smashing, my mum trying to reassure him that I was normal, and then yelling. By that point I would run back into bed and cry myself to sleep. My mum would tell me that dad was just being silly, that I had nothing to worry about, but even today I was being told I was worthless. Surely, after all these years of people telling me I can't amount to anything, that some part of it must be true.

I cradle my now stinging face, feeling the bump that was now forming around my eye. I try to hold in my sobs, but they come in short, strange gasps. I tuck my knees into my chest and hide my face from the world, trying to escape just for a few seconds. And then I let myself cry. I cry for what seems likes hours. And then I stop, and I know, I need to be strong for Sam.

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Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!

Check out the song I linked at the top of the page, it's beautiful x

Gracie