The Pieces He Needs

Chapter twelve ↠

I clutch the phone in my now shaking hands. My breath comes in short gasps as I struggle to breath in a normal pattern again. The bathroom wasn't the best hiding place in the world, but it would have to do for now. Sam had hit me once again, right on the hip bone. It hurt; but no where near as much as the words he had spoken did. Looser, failure, foul, inferior. These were the words that he had screamed at me all night; and it was just getting too much. 

I dial the only number I can think of; my heart beating in my chest. I was nervous.

The phone rings a few times before his voice fills my ears, "Hello?"

"B-Ben is that you?" I question shyly, closing my eyes and waiting for his answer.

"Yes, who is this?"

"It's Amanda. I've had a r-rough night and I was j-just calling because... well" I search for something to say, but nothing comes out. My breathing is rapid and shallow. I can feel my pulse pounding in my temples. I sit up on the closed toilet, because my legs are shaking and I'm afraid I'll trip.

"Because?" He says softly, the confusion leaving his voice, "because you want to have an appointment with me right now?"

"Yes." I say far to quickly, not even giving myself a chance to think. 

"The office is closed right now but... you could come to my house?" He questions un-surely.

I think about my options. If I go I'll be safe from Sam; but it means I'll be in trouble later. If I stay theres a very strong chance I'll get hurt again.

"Yeah, sure" I answer shakily.

Now there was just the challenge of getting out of the house without being noticed. 

"Hey Amanda?" Ben says, "are you ok?"

"yeah, I'm ok."

***

I've been so lost in constructing scenarios for the evening ahead that I'm surprised to see how far I've come. Already the house is in sight. There's nothing slick about it, no fancy decorations or white etching upon the roof.  Despite the late hour I can still hear music from inside, the kind of rolling Jazz that flows through your veins and swirls in your head. 

I reach the door and suddenly all my preparations flee my mind like scared children, my brain feels full of static like an old television set that's lost the signal. I stop. Part of me is screaming to turn around, but I know I can't turn back now.

Knock knock knock

I close my eyes, waiting in anticipation of what is about to happen next. My heart is hammering inside my chest like it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin and my thoughts are accelerating inside my head. Will he be happy to see me or will he think I'm intruding? 

"Hello!" He says positively, a huge grin spreading across his face.

"Hey" I say just above a whisper, the nerves fading ever so slightly.

He gestures for me to come inside, and what I see is beautiful. The floors are polished concrete and the furniture scandinavian, high end designers only. The only compromise to comfort was the sheepskin on the floor, so clean it was hard to believe anyone had ever stepped foot on it. The only mess was the wet footprints I had tracked in on the shoes I'd forgot to remove. The sweet sounding Jazz music filled every room; creating a sense of comfort to the entire place. 

"Do you want anything? A drink maybe?" He asks, walking towards the kitchen.

I take off my shoes and follow him. It was such a beautiful house and I found myself nervous to touch anything. The bare ceilings annoyed me; there was so much potential to them. I found myself imagining all the different possibilities; the interior designer coming out in me.