Back to the Trees

Chapter 6 - Don't Be Gone For Good

I ran my hand over the smooth finish of the finely crafted, chiselled table. Where a once shattered rectangular table stood, there was now a beautifully handcrafted oval one. Each leg of the table was carved with depictions of flowers and butterflies. It looked like the table my great grandmother had owned when she was alive. The one I'd shown a picture off to Lee. I'd always wanted a replica for my own home but I'd never had the chance to ask her from where, or whom, she obtained it from. All eight chairs surrounding it had been refurbished to match. Every inch of the room was spotless; and like the rest of the house it was empty. It looked as though it were a show house; well kept but never lived in.

I wanted to cry until the tears ran dry yet I refused myself that one wish. I had no reason to believe he'd still be here. For all he knew I was happily married to some cheating monster, raising another woman's daughter.

"Wow Little Lillian. You must have hit this wall pretty hard to have left such an indent." Mitchell crouched by the front door. Sure enough, on the corner on the right hand side of the jutted doorway was a curved dent, the same width as my head. Absently I reached for the scar across the back of my head, that was hidden by my out grown ratty hair. The doctors had said I was lucky the impact hadn't fractured my skull and had only split the back of my head open. Three small dots of blood had dried and stained the green carpet, though it looked as though someone had tried with all their might to clean it away.

The kitchen window had been replaced and the kitchen itself had been scrubbed clean. The sink and draining board gleamed, the fridge freezer had been emptied and completely cleaned, and the floor had been mopped to the point that it sparkled.

Upstairs had been cleared as well. All the rooms had been cleared of clothing and excess appliances. Each bed had been freshly made, the windows wiped down and the floors hoovered. The bathroom had been scrubbed to gleaming. The stone tiled floor had been polished to the point that I could see my face in them. I could feel two sets of eyes on the back of my head and just knew that Mitchell and Alannah were stood in the doorway.

"He's gone." My heart broke with every letter. I sank to the polished tile floor, my muscles refusing to keep me up any longer. I could feel my heart rising into my throat and tears welling in my eyes. I couldn't hide the emotional wreck I'd become anymore. The tears burnt as they ran down my face.

"I've lost him." I began to sob louder than I'd ever let anyone hear me sob before. I had no right to cry like this; I had brought this on myself. I had allowed myself to stay oblivious to the truth for too long and now it was too late. This as all my own fault. I could have chosen at any point to listen to my mum, to Mitchell, to Alannah. All I had done was pros pone the inevitable; in fact I had mad things worse than it might have been. If I'd just listened, Lee might just still be here instead I had pushed him away, further and further with each passing day.

"He's left and it's all my fault!" I wailed at the top of my lungs. I was distraught; it felt as though my heart had been ripped out through my ribs. Mitchell fell to his own knees beside me and flung his arms around my shaking shoulders. He held my head to his chest and just let me cry until there were no more tears left. 

I must have cried myself to sleep because when Lee stroked a lose strand of scraggly hair from my face and told me it wouldn't always be this way, it had felt so real. We were still in the bathroom of the house I'd spent four months in with Lee. My heart broke all over again, but all my tears had been shed. I took a deep juddering breath and stood up from the cold tiles.

The floorboard at the top of the stairs creaked as I stood on it. I turned so that my back faced the stairs. He floorboard creaking with every movement. Mitchell rushed from the bathroom where I had left him sleeping, and Alannah came out of one of the bedrooms.