PIPEBOMB(S) ˎˊ˗

18 | royal rumble, 2016

Requested By:

NO ONE, BUT I AM SO LIT THAT EVEN AFTER FINISHING ONE CLASS, I AM STILL RAGING MAD.

Subject: ROYAL SHIT.

Albeit, there was a few good things I liked about the Rumble, but the stuff that I didn't, oh fucking boy did it ruin everything.

I'll start out with the good, because WHY NOT?

- - -

POSITIVES
+

1 ) KALISTO = U.S. CHAMPION

WWE needs to realize that the closest they'll ever get to Rey Mysterio is this man right here. The fact that he lost his title literally like less than a week later was complete and total BS. It was so much BS that everyone online went apeshit and I solely believe they gave Kalisto the title back for that reason.

Don't get me wrong, I freaking love Del Rio, but nah. That belt belongs to Kalisto and I fucking hope that him being champion opens up the opportunity for "smaller" guys to try for the belt and show that size really doesn't matter because let me tell you this:

Vince is obsessed with big-meat headed dudes like Ryback.

Ryback's boring asf and a total menace. I don't give a fuck if he can lift 500 pounds because while he can bench press all he wants, "smaller" dudes like Neville, Styles, Balor, can wow us with literally just one high flying move or drop kick. They're that fucking amazing.

+

2) THE NEW DAY

Can these guys just be champions forever? I can't even express how much I love The New Day. They're the best of both worlds, able to reel in little kids but also the adults with their metaphorical context and ugh.

Xavier's the best manager ever, no one pitches harder for his teammates than this due.

BIG E- I never want him to stop dancing and swaying his hips.

Kofi- I have a severe adoration for Kofi. The man is twice my age (kind of) and I feel maternal over him. Like he's so happy and he's my baby and I wanna protect him against everything but then he does all this cool shit at the Rumble and HE TWERKS and yas.

The only team I want "beating" the New Day is fucking team Sawft because a verbal+ physical exchange between the two would be fucking epic.

I'm so fucking happy for these three men, showing that YES, BLACK MEN CAN BE AT THE TOP.

3) DEAN AMBROSE IS A BEAST

No one looked better than Dean Ambrose last night.

No one worked harder than Dean Ambrose last night.

Dean Ambrose is WHO should have fucking won the Rumble if not another deserving man that isn't FUCKING TRIPLE H.

Seriously, Dean wasn't kidding when he said that he doesn't break and that he's like a cockaroach that will NEVER DIE. The man put on a hell of a match with Owens (who also put on an amazing performance). Ambrose took hit after hit, table after table and other severe shit (just like Owens) but in the end the dude fucking won AND NOT ONLY THAT-

When he walked out to the Rumble, he didn't look bad at all.

We're not talking looks here bc lol Amrose is naturally beautiful + always looks good (unless you're like -hottingam and like to find the derpiest faces of Dean + use them as cover titles *cough cough inside joke for Charisma, love ya babe! xD)