arlette's pov
i didn't want to be here.
now, here could mean a lot of places.
here could be the insitute. i would want to be out of this tortuous place that imprisoned me because of my thoughts.
here could mean my city, or state, or country. simply because it was boring and i have had too much of it.
here could be the world. i could want out of this miserable earth that the humans around me seem to simply be killing by the second.
i didn't even know what here was for me.
i may never know.
but all i knew is that i wanted to be out of everywhere. just to disappear, or something. to not be known anymore.
i never chose to be like this. and by that, i mean that depression simply runs in my family. my mother's side doesn't, but my father does. he seemed to get over it. i try not to think that my dad was as sad as i am now. my older brother, mark, doesn't have depression either. he must've got the happy genes.
but little did i know that i would get more than depression. i got something my family had never come across.
schizophrenia.
yeah. i know. everyone!! run from the crazy girl!!!!
i'm not as crazy as people think. i just have these little voices in my head, and i see things that other people can't. so what? it doesn't matter. it's something i have to deal with. it shouldn't be something that doctors and people with little knowledge of me should deal with.
im tired of this.
but it wont be much longer until im finally out. living with my brother, in the real world.
now, this was very hard for the doctors to do; to let a schizophrenic teenager live with her 24 year old brother. but once they realized that i was okay, they agreed to let me out after being trapped for 7 years. yes, i lied. a lot. i lied about the voices disappearing and the visions blurring out, but it's all worth it. i still have to go to therapy every now and then, and i "take" my meds. i don't actually take them, i hide them under my tongue and spit them out in the toilet.
mark and my parents think im okay, which is all that matters. i'm going to finally live a normal life, with my brother. that's all i needed.
hello. i am lele. that's not my real name, because im afraid someone will find out who i am and yikes so yeah. im just writing this because i simply need something to do. i may add debby or jenna to this, i simply do not know yet. also, i love comments so yeah. uhhh okay im gonna work on the first chapter now. bye.
-lele
